Four of Cups - self absorption

Yesterday was a difficult day. I had to face some realities about finance and also talk with my ex about them. I have been struggling for a long time to manage on my income, balancing work with being a Mum, and also the fact that the work that I do is still relatively new in this area and the take up of the offering is limited at present..

In October my mortgage will almost double and I have lost a fair bit of regular income. This means I have to find more income from somewhere or we will have to move. I only moved here 2yrs ago and really don't want to HAVE to move. The idea of moving TOWARDS sthg is what appeals, rather than away from.

The talk with BM went well and he was really understanding and supportive. We have had so many issues to deal with over the past few years; it is great to be able to share some emotions and problems and feel heard. He has promised to help a bit but his situation is such that he can't change it, just alleviate it.

So I was feeling sorry for myself (spent far too much time doing that in the past couple of years!) and wishing things were different. But things are as they are, and the only thing I can change is my reaction to them....... as the card I drew today reminded me! The Four of Cups warns us of becoming introverted, self-absorbed, ignoring the good things in front of us. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we have many blessings. By focusing on one negative thing, we can easily miss the other great things right in from of us.

And so today, I am going to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive things in life, starting with my lovely son and working out from there! LS, my boy, is delight and he gives so much, and we will manage, just as we have always done. AND, with so many dreadful things going on in the world and all the suffering, my focus will be on continuing to help others as much as possible and trust that our minor issues will sort themselves out in their own good time.