The tyranny of the pc!

Just a quickie cos I have not been on for a while and am aware that I started to feel I OUGHT to be writing my Blog, rather than wanting to. Life has speeded up rather a lot recently and I am finding that I really resent the way I am allowing my pc to rule my day. From first thing when I check my emails, to last thing at night, when I check again I seem to spend ages in front of this machine. How did something which was supposed to free us up from some hard graft (and create a paperless office - ha!) become such a hard taskmaster?

Anyway, the upshot is, that after a lovely few days RnR in Menorca with Alex, staying with my brother, I have decided to do far less, if I can, at the pc, and ask people to phone me if it is important as I am not going to check things so often or reply so quickly. And I am trying to cut down the time in front of the screen to help my poor shoulder repair itself as it has got pain from sitting too long in front of the screen. Let's see what happens!

And if anyone has any suggestions for how to manage emails better so let me know....

Releasing the Creative force?

Good morning. It's a glorious day here in Nth Lancashire and I hope it is with you too. We are finally getting the summer we were promised back in March - and very welcome it is too. As part of my recuperation after the op I am able to sit out in the garden soaking up the rays and relaxing. And how strange that is. It is not something I have been able to do easily and yet I love it! And that got me thinking about lots of other things that we love doing - and yet don't do nearly enough. Things like having meals out, friends over for dinner, sailing, walking, travel, going to the theatre - oh and so many other things.

However, enforced rest gives us time to reflect and it can be a real plus too. An astrologer who I interviewed for the research on Inspirational Leadership asked what energy this op was connected to. And I think it is related to the release of some pent up creative force that has been trying to get out for some time but which I was blocking. Not sure where that will take me but I sense it will be a very positive momentum.

One thing that I am doing is reconsidering in more detail the way I live and work - a theme that has been raising its head since I started this Blog over a year ago. It has been an interesting and fruitful period in many ways and there are more changes to come. And if you are having a time when you can't do what you would normally be doing, due to illness or other extraneous circumstances, what energy is it connecting you to and what might be the benefits for you and others around you?

Operation Surprise

Well, life is full of surprises isn't it - and I certainly got one recently. Coming back from a lovely few days camping in Abersoch (a Mums & Sons break with great weather and good company) I experienced intense pain and ended up going straight to Lancaster Royal Infirmary, where 3 days later, I had a hysterectomy.

I am now at home, still in a bit of a state of shock, mobility slowed down and not able to drive for another few weeks. What has overwhelmed me has been the love and support from friends and family both near and far. As someone who finds it rather difficult to ask for help, this time has been a wonderful reminder of what it is to have such a great network around me. From the visitors in hospital who brought fruit, flowers, gossipy mags, pretty nighties and tasty delights, to the myriad offers of help with shopping, housework, general cheering up and regular phone calls, everyone has been brilliant.

My son, A, has been really considerate, making his own breakfast, bringing me meals in bed when I am feeling tired and even washing up and hoovering - not things he has done too often in his 10yrs! I think he was fairly shaken by his Mum being in hospital but fortunately his Dad took him on holiday straight after the op so he has had some distractions.

So now all I have to do is take it easy, read lots, try not to fret about the lack of income and unpaid bills and maybe use this time to simply enjoy 'being' not doing. I chose this picture cos it's called 'New Dawn, Lake Kivu, Rwanda' and it feels somehow like a new dawn, a new opportunity to get better, make the most of a clean bill of health and plan how to have some more fun in life. Starting now, with a DVD fest of all the episodes of Sex in the City, which a good mate brought round to keep me going over the next few weeks! I'll keep you posted ...

Global warming - does it mean lots of rain?

Summer - ha! If you live in England then you may well be wondering where that glorious summer we were promised in April, has gone... Maybe on its hols or hiding cos it doesn't want to upset us after all its bad publicity. For those of you who are hankering after some glorious summer sun - here are some very pretty sun flowers, doing what sun flowers do...

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

Whatever you have planned for the next few weeks, I do hope the sun will shine on you - it cheers things up, makes us feel generally better and gives some of us who otherwise look far too pale and uninteresting, a slight glow of colour that cheers the spirit.

Kalo Kalokeiri - Happy Summer as they say in Greece (apologies for dodgy spelling!)

Summer days!

Hi - how are you and how are you doing with this summer? If you are here in England then you may well be having to cope with one of the wettest and gloomiest summers in many a long day. Here is a nice picture of sun flowers doing what sun flowers do

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

We all need a bit of sunshine to brighten our days - and these days we are made to feel guilty sometimes becasue of the 'damage' sun can do. Well, I spent 8 yrs of my life living in countries where the sun ruled and I can say that, tho my skin may be crinkled from over- exposure, I really enjoyed the benefits it gave, including that wonderful feeling of well-being we get from just being around it.

Having lived in Greece for 4 yrs and seen how the Greeks loved the sun, I agree with what one philosopher said - 'Moderation in all things' but you do need at least a bit of it to be able to be moderate.

So, I hope you can find a bit of your own sunshine somewhere this month and if you can't find it literally then hopefully you can get some metaphorically, if only from this picture!

Gawthorpe Hall

This time I have not really got any idea what the blog is about - just thought I would put one up and see where it goes. I have had a fairly low key weekend with a nasty cold to keep me company. Had to cancel friends coming over for the weekend and my son is with his Dad, so went thru the usual downer when I am on my own, feeling sorry for myself.

Well, got bored with that and decided to go out this afternoon as I was feeling a lot better. Drove over to Burnley and visited a National Trust house, Gawthorpe Hall. It is full of the most amazing embroideries from around the world, including China, Afghanistan, Egypt, Japan, South Sea Islands and the UK. What really took my eye was the display of miniature embroidery - tiny little pieces, mostly no more that an inch square, of the most exquisite work. There were two minute 'Elizabethan Gauntlets' that would have fitted A's hamster, with delicate stitching only really visible with the magnifying glass provided.

And it was just so lovely to see work that had taken those who produced it, both men and women in the past 50 yrs, such time and effort, simply for the sheer beauty of it. And when I got back home, after driving through rain, hail and brilliant sunshine, I felt heaps better and quite relaxed. I had had a much needed rest, got over the doldrums and enjoyed the afternoon a lot.

Hope it was a good weekend for you and that the summer brings some moments of exquisite beauty for you too!

Karma - and gifts

I spent part of yesterday interviewing a very interesting person who shared his thoughts on what Inspiration means to him. Whilst he was talking there was a very impressive thunderstorm going on outside. At one point, as he was talking about Karma and its meaning to him, there was huge thunderclap - it seemed to underline the point about who is given what and what we do with it. Very dramatic!

And that set me thinking about what gifts we take for granted and how sometimes we don't use the gifts we have but hanker after having what we are not given... I used to wish I could sing and play an instrument, or paint or do any of those other creative things that I envied others for. Then one day, someone said to me, 'But you can write ...' and I sort of dismissed it cos that is what I do anyway, and he said, 'I wish I could write ...' and it hit me. I had a gift but I wasn't appreciating it. And that's not really very considerate to the giver, is it?!

So my musing for today is around what gifts might we ignore that lie unappreciated and unused, and how might life be when we pick up that gift, look at it and maybe - why not - start to use it?

Oh, and the photo is of the view from our room in Monemvassia, in the Peloponnese, where I went last year - cos Greece does and, I hope always will, inspire me in so many ways.

Here comes the rain again ...

Isn't it amazing how much the weather can change the way we feel about things? For the past couple of days it has been wet, stormy and grey, and the uplifting feeling that the previous two weeks of sunny, hot weather brought, seems a distant memory. On those days we got up early, had breakfast in the garden and enjoyed a lovely BBQ with friends. But it did make A. rather cranky when he couldn't sleep properly and I didn't really want to do much work!

Now, it is cooler, I feel less happy-go-lucky but probably more motivated. When I lived in Greece, life seemed to drift along rather in haze of quite hard work in the morning and early eve, long afternoon siestas and lovely lengthy dinners in outdoor tavernas. Didn't have much oomph to achieve anything in particular, but life felt good. Hong Kong was worse; dreadful climate... either terribly hot and humid - totally enervating, with blasts of ice-cold aircon to keep you awake, or gloomy, foggy wet days that seemed to last forever. Very driven to achieve but quality of life seemed less.

I must admit I really enjoy the diversity of our weather (and love the benefits of global warming up here in the NW!). Maybe it is the very uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, combined with the changing energy levels that actually encourages me to either work or relax... or perhaps I just like to have something else to blame when I am feeling lazy!

Anyway, whatever the weather - stay cool and enjoy it!

PS. Quick update - have had to put the office on hold, due to personal reasons (hmm, cryptic yes but can't reveal EVERYTHING here!), some seedlings have survived the hot weather and lack of water, and A. got a cute hamster called Chester for his 10th birthday.

Rubbish rant!

It's Saturday afternoon and I am exhausted after a de-cluttering session , throwing out loads of old papers, mags, rubbish and the general mess that has accumulated on just about every surface in my house. I should feel better, but it has made me feel mad - so much unsolicited stuff that comes into our lives every day. Just going thru the unwanted mail, emails and other junk can take ages. So I have promised myself to keep it a bit better under control and not let myself disappear under a deluge of stuff. The recycling bin is now full - and that's another thing... it takes much longer to clear our now cos we have to worry about what is to be recycled, which box to put it in and when to leave it out for the occasional bin collection.

OK, enough of the complaints! I chose this pic of A. Zorbing downhill (in NZ) in a big plastic ball filled with water, to illustrate how life can be scary and fun at the same time. He said this was the best bit of his visit. When I asked him if he was scared, he said, 'Oh, yes, but that was part of the fun!' And it is a fine line between things being scary but fun, and tipping over into real fear. I think it is to do with control. Although he was rolling down a hill he was in control of choosing to go in it and there was a path to follow. That can help to manage the fear.

Just at the moment, I am facing the fear of taking on something that I have not done before, ie an office, with no guarantee that it will turn out OK. But I guess I have to ensure that I am in control of some of the elements of this and minimise the risks, before rolling off downhill. So, if you are facing some scary choices just now, look at how you can control some of it - and then let go and enjoy the ride!

PS. Some of the the seedlings are doing really well, and others seem to be very reluctant to show their leaves. Today I have taken them out of their greenhouse - maybe they need more air?

Seedlings

Well, I don't know what it is like with you but I do hope it's glorious - it is here! We are having the most amazing weather and as I live in Nth Lancashire, near the Lake District, we are not too used to hot, sunny weather, esp at this time of year...


Anyway, last week A. and I went to the garden centre in Ambleside. We spent a merry hour or two browsing amongst the luxuriant spring foliage, macho looking BBQ equipment, space-age garden furniture and endless cards and dubious looking gifts. We finally made our purchases; I got a pretty weeping cherry for the front garden and A. got a spiky little cactus in a monkey-shaped pot (hmm) and a bag of vegetable seeds.

So now we are very excited - well, OK, I am, a bit... cos we are going to plant them this evening. Last year we had a disaster with one of those green metal plastic covered greenhouse things, which fell over in the first breeze, spilling our seeds all over the garden. We then had carrots and lettuces popping up in the most unexpected places! This year I have got a nice little wooden heavy plant house to get them going and we are hoping for a bit more success.

And the bit that excites me is the simple pleasure of planing teeny tiny seeds and then having some lovely fresh veg a few months later. Just hope the wind doesn't get too strong.... I hope that any seeds you plant now, or have planted earlier, real or metaphorical, give you a really great crop. And remember - if you don't plant anything, you'll not get anything!

On the Move ...

Well, life seems to be suddenly on the move again! I am currently looking at getting a new office, having been working from home for many years . One of the major changes since returning from New Zealand, has been the realisation that I do want to be where I currently am - and that I am not going to focus on the things that aren't working, but concentrate on developing the things that are.


This probably doesn't sound very radical but the past year or two have been spent feeling restless and unsure about whether to move, and also exactly what work I want to be doing. I am now sure that I am going to stay here, grow my Coaching practice and inspire others to develop their own unique style of living and working. So, one of the my goals is to get a nice new office to work from with a lovely ambiance, delightful surroundings and great people to work with.

This photo was taken by a photographer colleague, Lucy Barden, and I am delighted with the shot showing my brand new banner. I am using it at The Chartwell Club, which takes place every 2nd Wednesday of the month (see my website for more info) which is a forum to share experience, learn some personal development skills and have help in problem solving.

So, a final thought to ponder on as you enjoy whatever the end of April brings - what move could bring you closer to achieving your goals or achieving your dreams? Just something small maybe - a shift in perception, a conversation with someone, stopping doing something you know is no good for you, a starting something new ... Remember - Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change!

Change of mind?

How are you today? ........... Are you feeling happy, sad, exhausted, exhilarated, motivated, ennervated, just OK....? That first question is often asked as a conversation opener, a polite enquiry and we don't usually expect any depth of answer. And yet, we all feel a vast range of emotions a lot of the time, and they can change from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day, with sometimes mind-boggling rapidity. And how often are we actually able to tell someone really how we feel and also know that they are really interested in our reply?

I've been pondering that today as I have gone through such a range of feelings over the past few hours, and the title of this Blog is taken as a result of a change of mind about the Blog. I had planned to write about the aftermath of coming back home from the New Zealand trip, and how it had thrown up more questions than I had expected. But I decided to just trust my intuition that exploring current feelings was the topic for today.

And so, I return to the original question... How are you today? No, really, how are you? Just ponder that one... and see what comes up for you. And what do those feelings tell you? And if you could change anything about how you feel today what would that be? And what could you do to encourage that change to become a real and lasting one?

Well, those are the thoughts for today. Happy musings!

New Zealand

This posting comes to you from sunny Wellington, New Zealand, in the middle of February, part way through a fantastic trip-of-a-lifetime with my son. We have spent two weeks in the North Island, being shown the sights by my good friend, Judi, and also a few days in Dubai, a quite unbelievable place. What struck me very much was the contrast between the two places - one almost totally man-made, and the other created by powerful forces of nature. We both thoroughly enjoyed Dubai and had great fun there, riding camels, doing a 4x4 desert safari and A. snow skiing in a shopping mall, but ....

it is the sheer awe-inspiring natural beauty of NZ that has really touched me. The variety of landscapes, colours, sounds and scents is so lovely. The people are really friendly and everywhere we have been so far there has been a welcome and a warmth that makes this place hard to beat.

And so what this has made me think about is the value of the natural things in life and how wonderful they are. A fern unfolding, a friendly smile or a cloud drifting across an azure sky, can be worth so much more than many material things.

Well, I hope to put up another posting from the Southern Hemisphere before we leave. In the meantime, I do hope your February is going well, wherever you are!

Can You See?

Hello. How are you today? How is 2007 going? I do hope things are going well and that this year proves to be your best yet.

This morning I was listening to the radio and heard a lovely piece about a lady who regained her sight after being blind, (or seriously sight impaired, if that is more pc!). She had an operation and as she was coming round, not knowing if the op had been successful, she heard many voices saying 'Can you see? Can you see?' She described the 'electric shock of seeing' as she opened her eyes. Then she went on to describe the almost indescribable delight she takes daily in her sight, the wonder of the world around her, the bad as well as the good, and the beauty of the sunset. She said that regaining her sight was like winning the lottery.

And all this struck a chord with me. How we so often take so much for granted, always trying to find more from life, striving for what is almost in sight but not quite, and that we don't often take time to just truly 'see' what is all around us. We are given wonderful gifts on a regular basis and yet sometimes we just can't see them. So the question for now is, 'Can you see?' Really see? See what is in front of you? See the simple things in life which you sometimes take for granted?

I am off on an Awfully Big Adventure shortly with my son and am sooooo looking forward to it! All this philosophising and questioning of life has given me a huge thirst to explore more of what life has to offer. I will be blogging along the way and hope to stay in touch. I have no idea quite what to expect but I am going with eyes wide open and a real appreciation of the great opportunity this is. In the meantime, enjoy yourself whenever and wherever you can!

Time for a Change?

Happy New Year. How's it going for you so far?

We had a lovely Christmas and New Year. A. was in plaster after falling off his dad's back and breaking his arm, and enjoyed the attention that gave him! He got loads of presents and satisfied his love of Green Day with lots of paraphernalia and CDs. His uncle was over from Spain so that made it extra special. I had good fun over New Year, with the Zest group at a Youth Hostel at Boggle Hole, right on the beach near Robin Hood's Bay. I was even persuaded to take part in a karaoke Z factor competition, after a lot of booze at the beach party, and dressed as Adam Ant for the NY Party. All things that a year ago I would not have even considered... And those who know me know how bad my singing is and my views on karaoke!

A sad time following the New Year; J's Mum, A's only grandparent, died on January 2nd. She was a very special lady, a Highland Scot with 9 children who all loved her and she will be much missed.

So, we are only a couple of weeks into 2007 and already we have had a mix of experiences and emotions. It is early days to see if this year will be better, worse, more fun, less stressful or simply different to last year. That final point is guaranteed. Whatever the previous year brought you, you know things WILL be different this year. Some of the differences will be positive, some negative, some out of your control, and some within your control.

And it is the latter area that interests me at this time of year. We all talk blithely about making New Year resolutions, some adamant they will lose weight, give up smoking, cut down on the booze, etc... others adamant they won't make any resolutions cos they are a waste of time. The thing is, we can make a difference to our experience of this year, by simply choosing some areas we want to change, identifying what that change looks like and then exploring the options we have for getting there. The difficult bit is sticking to this, or flexing when other things step in.

I have found that getting other people to help me to achieve change is really helpful, both in practical terms and as a general motivator. As a coach, of course I think that coaching can be a great way to get support for change, but there are many other things you can do too. I have told my best friend that I want to have more fun this year, and she has promised faithfully to help me achieve that! On a really practical level, I now have a great PA to help develop my business, and also support me in my vision for the future. We are currently setting up The Chartwell Club, which aims to provide group coaching and support for Change and give people an opportunity to share experiences and ideas on a regular basis. Oh, yes, and be fun too! If you have any suggestions for how we can do that, do let me know.

Have a think about the ways you can get support to ensure that the changes you make this year are ones that you are in control of and ones that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

Christmas Abundance

At this time of festive preparation and Christmas feasting, it can be easy to get pulled in to the idea that we have to be happy and upbeat and if we are not, then there is something wrong. Well, it is just a date in the calendar and our lives don't stop being stressful, challenging or difficult just because it is the 25th December. However, it can be a time to step out of things we are going through, and simply give thanks for what is good, whatever that may be.

Your life may well be full of abundance, or it could be hard to see a positive sign, but I do hope you can find time to celebrate what you feel is important to you at this Christmas time. May an abundance of Christmas cheer find its way to you this week wherever you are, whatever you believe in and however you choose to spend this time.

The Facts of Life

Last night, A. came downstairs because he couldn't get to sleep. This is a fairly common occurrence at the moment, especially with his broken arm. We talked about what was bothering him, and eventually he said how much he wished he had a brother or sister living with us, so then he would not be so scared at night. This is something that many 'only' children must feel (he has two half brothers much older who he doesn't see often), and I felt so very sorry for him.

We talked about this and then things moved on to where babies come from. (I have been wondering when/if he would ask about this sometime!) He sort of knew already, but wanted to be sure. I won't go into our conversation as it was between us, but he did ask, with a certain amount of disbelief, 'Did you and Daddy have to do that to get me?'

However, the main thing about that conversation which has stayed with me, was his struggle with the idea that there are certain things in life that we just can't have, however much we would like them. We talked about his love to have a sibling and how that couldn't happen now, and he then said, 'Well, I suppose we just have to be happy with how things are. and not wish for things we know we can't have' And it was so moving, knowing how much it meant for him to say that.

The facts of life seem so much more complex than simple biology... My question today is, 'What facts of life are you finding difficult to deal with at the moment, and what can you focus on to make things a bit easier NOW?'

Birthday Bash!

A. broke his arm on Tuesday night. He had been staying with his Dad and leapt at him across the bed at bedtime, as 9yr olds do, missed, put out his arm to break his fall and broke his arm instead. His Dad took him to Kendal Hospital where they X-rayed it, put a temporary splint on and sent him to Lancaster Hospital in the middle of the night, for an op to set it the next morning. He is doing OK, managing with this really heavy plaster on his arm, and loads of medicine to ease the pain.

I had been working away for almost 2 weeks with only a day or so back home, when it happened. I won't bore you with the details of how I found out but suffice to say, it highlighted how differently two loving parents can view the same incident! Having ensured that my business colleague would be OK with my leaving the training course, I returned home on Wednesday evening to see my poor lad all pale and bravely clasping his newly plastered arm before him. He had a very painful night but is getting better by the day. Apparently it is a really bad break and he will have to have the plaster for about 6 weeks and it could take up to a year to heal properly... so a less than active Christmas for him. He keeps saying he wished he had a time machine to take him back to before he leapt across the bed!

The day he did it was his Dad's birthday, and Thursday was mine, so both of us were suitably distracted and not bothered about celebrating. (I usually tell all and sundry as I love celebrations...!) However, the upside was that we were together for the day and had lots of calls and relatives round to see how he was doing and it was all quite convivial in spite of the circumstances.

And today there is no question to muse over, just the thought that our loved ones are the most important things in life and it is so awful when we see them suffering and can do little to help and that time spent with them is so precious.

Remembrance

On this Remembrance Sunday we often look back to family times and think about those who are no longer here. As I sat watching the ceremony I thought of my parents and how we always had to be quiet during the 2 minute silence and when I was little I didn't know why, except it was something to do with the war and dead people. And my Grandpa playing the cornet at a Remembrance service and being a bit embarrassed somehow but also moved to tears and not knowing why. And Helen, who died so recently and played a significant role as WREN in WWII.

Today I sat there with so many memories and my son jumping around pretending to play the bagpipes as the Scots played their lament for the dead. And it seemed so poignant and life goes on and we pass on the traditions and somehow it makes a bit of sense of this crazy world.

So today there is no question, just this poem and an image that means different things to each one of us...

In Flanders Field
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row by row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard among the guns below.
By John Macrae

Power Play

In keeping with my revamped web site and new colour scheme I have changed the blog look. Let me know what you think!

This is one of my favourite photos of Autumn, taken last year on a beautiful November day down at Bowness, with the yachts on Windermere waiting like swans for a little breeze to set off across the lake.

On Saturday I went for a 'gentle walk' along the river Lune with the Zest group. 'Gentle' it may have been but more than 6 hours later I returned home quite exhausted after the stroll got rather bogged down in a field of cows, who took a rather more than bovine interest in us! Still, I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt quite entitled to the pizza and red wine I then downed in the evening...

For those of you who may be still wondering about the visit to the astrologer, Lyn Birkbeck, here is a brief summary of what is significant to me now.

Lyn was very professional and the reading was both detailed and personal. Without going into detail, the main messages were that I had a 'challenging ' profile and needed to acknowledge that Power is a key issue for me. And that I had to acknowledge whatever it is that is my 'personal power' and claim it, if I am to become more at ease with myself and fulfil the potential that is written in the stars... Well, I have missed out a lot of stuff and put my own spin on it, but it struck a chord, because I have been grappling with this 'personal power' issue for some time.

Just what is that makes us feel powerful - and good? You know that feeling when everything is going right and you are on a roll? Do you ever suddenly stop and think 'Wait a minute, I shouldn't be feeling/acting/behaving/ like this'? Well, what do you do about it? There are lots of issues around power, and I don't think it is a gender thing. Maybe it is something to do with the way we are brought up, or maybe it is cultural, or ...well, I don't know. But I do know that when we are feeling good about ourselves, our talents and our abilities we become greater and more able to relate, help and generally communicate with other people.

Today's question is - In what area of your life are you shielding your power and not letting it shine through? What can you do to release it so that you can become more of the person you really are and fulfil your true potential?