Rubbish rant!

It's Saturday afternoon and I am exhausted after a de-cluttering session , throwing out loads of old papers, mags, rubbish and the general mess that has accumulated on just about every surface in my house. I should feel better, but it has made me feel mad - so much unsolicited stuff that comes into our lives every day. Just going thru the unwanted mail, emails and other junk can take ages. So I have promised myself to keep it a bit better under control and not let myself disappear under a deluge of stuff. The recycling bin is now full - and that's another thing... it takes much longer to clear our now cos we have to worry about what is to be recycled, which box to put it in and when to leave it out for the occasional bin collection.

OK, enough of the complaints! I chose this pic of A. Zorbing downhill (in NZ) in a big plastic ball filled with water, to illustrate how life can be scary and fun at the same time. He said this was the best bit of his visit. When I asked him if he was scared, he said, 'Oh, yes, but that was part of the fun!' And it is a fine line between things being scary but fun, and tipping over into real fear. I think it is to do with control. Although he was rolling down a hill he was in control of choosing to go in it and there was a path to follow. That can help to manage the fear.

Just at the moment, I am facing the fear of taking on something that I have not done before, ie an office, with no guarantee that it will turn out OK. But I guess I have to ensure that I am in control of some of the elements of this and minimise the risks, before rolling off downhill. So, if you are facing some scary choices just now, look at how you can control some of it - and then let go and enjoy the ride!

PS. Some of the the seedlings are doing really well, and others seem to be very reluctant to show their leaves. Today I have taken them out of their greenhouse - maybe they need more air?

Seedlings

Well, I don't know what it is like with you but I do hope it's glorious - it is here! We are having the most amazing weather and as I live in Nth Lancashire, near the Lake District, we are not too used to hot, sunny weather, esp at this time of year...


Anyway, last week A. and I went to the garden centre in Ambleside. We spent a merry hour or two browsing amongst the luxuriant spring foliage, macho looking BBQ equipment, space-age garden furniture and endless cards and dubious looking gifts. We finally made our purchases; I got a pretty weeping cherry for the front garden and A. got a spiky little cactus in a monkey-shaped pot (hmm) and a bag of vegetable seeds.

So now we are very excited - well, OK, I am, a bit... cos we are going to plant them this evening. Last year we had a disaster with one of those green metal plastic covered greenhouse things, which fell over in the first breeze, spilling our seeds all over the garden. We then had carrots and lettuces popping up in the most unexpected places! This year I have got a nice little wooden heavy plant house to get them going and we are hoping for a bit more success.

And the bit that excites me is the simple pleasure of planing teeny tiny seeds and then having some lovely fresh veg a few months later. Just hope the wind doesn't get too strong.... I hope that any seeds you plant now, or have planted earlier, real or metaphorical, give you a really great crop. And remember - if you don't plant anything, you'll not get anything!

On the Move ...

Well, life seems to be suddenly on the move again! I am currently looking at getting a new office, having been working from home for many years . One of the major changes since returning from New Zealand, has been the realisation that I do want to be where I currently am - and that I am not going to focus on the things that aren't working, but concentrate on developing the things that are.


This probably doesn't sound very radical but the past year or two have been spent feeling restless and unsure about whether to move, and also exactly what work I want to be doing. I am now sure that I am going to stay here, grow my Coaching practice and inspire others to develop their own unique style of living and working. So, one of the my goals is to get a nice new office to work from with a lovely ambiance, delightful surroundings and great people to work with.

This photo was taken by a photographer colleague, Lucy Barden, and I am delighted with the shot showing my brand new banner. I am using it at The Chartwell Club, which takes place every 2nd Wednesday of the month (see my website for more info) which is a forum to share experience, learn some personal development skills and have help in problem solving.

So, a final thought to ponder on as you enjoy whatever the end of April brings - what move could bring you closer to achieving your goals or achieving your dreams? Just something small maybe - a shift in perception, a conversation with someone, stopping doing something you know is no good for you, a starting something new ... Remember - Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change!

Change of mind?

How are you today? ........... Are you feeling happy, sad, exhausted, exhilarated, motivated, ennervated, just OK....? That first question is often asked as a conversation opener, a polite enquiry and we don't usually expect any depth of answer. And yet, we all feel a vast range of emotions a lot of the time, and they can change from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day, with sometimes mind-boggling rapidity. And how often are we actually able to tell someone really how we feel and also know that they are really interested in our reply?

I've been pondering that today as I have gone through such a range of feelings over the past few hours, and the title of this Blog is taken as a result of a change of mind about the Blog. I had planned to write about the aftermath of coming back home from the New Zealand trip, and how it had thrown up more questions than I had expected. But I decided to just trust my intuition that exploring current feelings was the topic for today.

And so, I return to the original question... How are you today? No, really, how are you? Just ponder that one... and see what comes up for you. And what do those feelings tell you? And if you could change anything about how you feel today what would that be? And what could you do to encourage that change to become a real and lasting one?

Well, those are the thoughts for today. Happy musings!

New Zealand

This posting comes to you from sunny Wellington, New Zealand, in the middle of February, part way through a fantastic trip-of-a-lifetime with my son. We have spent two weeks in the North Island, being shown the sights by my good friend, Judi, and also a few days in Dubai, a quite unbelievable place. What struck me very much was the contrast between the two places - one almost totally man-made, and the other created by powerful forces of nature. We both thoroughly enjoyed Dubai and had great fun there, riding camels, doing a 4x4 desert safari and A. snow skiing in a shopping mall, but ....

it is the sheer awe-inspiring natural beauty of NZ that has really touched me. The variety of landscapes, colours, sounds and scents is so lovely. The people are really friendly and everywhere we have been so far there has been a welcome and a warmth that makes this place hard to beat.

And so what this has made me think about is the value of the natural things in life and how wonderful they are. A fern unfolding, a friendly smile or a cloud drifting across an azure sky, can be worth so much more than many material things.

Well, I hope to put up another posting from the Southern Hemisphere before we leave. In the meantime, I do hope your February is going well, wherever you are!

Can You See?

Hello. How are you today? How is 2007 going? I do hope things are going well and that this year proves to be your best yet.

This morning I was listening to the radio and heard a lovely piece about a lady who regained her sight after being blind, (or seriously sight impaired, if that is more pc!). She had an operation and as she was coming round, not knowing if the op had been successful, she heard many voices saying 'Can you see? Can you see?' She described the 'electric shock of seeing' as she opened her eyes. Then she went on to describe the almost indescribable delight she takes daily in her sight, the wonder of the world around her, the bad as well as the good, and the beauty of the sunset. She said that regaining her sight was like winning the lottery.

And all this struck a chord with me. How we so often take so much for granted, always trying to find more from life, striving for what is almost in sight but not quite, and that we don't often take time to just truly 'see' what is all around us. We are given wonderful gifts on a regular basis and yet sometimes we just can't see them. So the question for now is, 'Can you see?' Really see? See what is in front of you? See the simple things in life which you sometimes take for granted?

I am off on an Awfully Big Adventure shortly with my son and am sooooo looking forward to it! All this philosophising and questioning of life has given me a huge thirst to explore more of what life has to offer. I will be blogging along the way and hope to stay in touch. I have no idea quite what to expect but I am going with eyes wide open and a real appreciation of the great opportunity this is. In the meantime, enjoy yourself whenever and wherever you can!

Time for a Change?

Happy New Year. How's it going for you so far?

We had a lovely Christmas and New Year. A. was in plaster after falling off his dad's back and breaking his arm, and enjoyed the attention that gave him! He got loads of presents and satisfied his love of Green Day with lots of paraphernalia and CDs. His uncle was over from Spain so that made it extra special. I had good fun over New Year, with the Zest group at a Youth Hostel at Boggle Hole, right on the beach near Robin Hood's Bay. I was even persuaded to take part in a karaoke Z factor competition, after a lot of booze at the beach party, and dressed as Adam Ant for the NY Party. All things that a year ago I would not have even considered... And those who know me know how bad my singing is and my views on karaoke!

A sad time following the New Year; J's Mum, A's only grandparent, died on January 2nd. She was a very special lady, a Highland Scot with 9 children who all loved her and she will be much missed.

So, we are only a couple of weeks into 2007 and already we have had a mix of experiences and emotions. It is early days to see if this year will be better, worse, more fun, less stressful or simply different to last year. That final point is guaranteed. Whatever the previous year brought you, you know things WILL be different this year. Some of the differences will be positive, some negative, some out of your control, and some within your control.

And it is the latter area that interests me at this time of year. We all talk blithely about making New Year resolutions, some adamant they will lose weight, give up smoking, cut down on the booze, etc... others adamant they won't make any resolutions cos they are a waste of time. The thing is, we can make a difference to our experience of this year, by simply choosing some areas we want to change, identifying what that change looks like and then exploring the options we have for getting there. The difficult bit is sticking to this, or flexing when other things step in.

I have found that getting other people to help me to achieve change is really helpful, both in practical terms and as a general motivator. As a coach, of course I think that coaching can be a great way to get support for change, but there are many other things you can do too. I have told my best friend that I want to have more fun this year, and she has promised faithfully to help me achieve that! On a really practical level, I now have a great PA to help develop my business, and also support me in my vision for the future. We are currently setting up The Chartwell Club, which aims to provide group coaching and support for Change and give people an opportunity to share experiences and ideas on a regular basis. Oh, yes, and be fun too! If you have any suggestions for how we can do that, do let me know.

Have a think about the ways you can get support to ensure that the changes you make this year are ones that you are in control of and ones that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

Christmas Abundance

At this time of festive preparation and Christmas feasting, it can be easy to get pulled in to the idea that we have to be happy and upbeat and if we are not, then there is something wrong. Well, it is just a date in the calendar and our lives don't stop being stressful, challenging or difficult just because it is the 25th December. However, it can be a time to step out of things we are going through, and simply give thanks for what is good, whatever that may be.

Your life may well be full of abundance, or it could be hard to see a positive sign, but I do hope you can find time to celebrate what you feel is important to you at this Christmas time. May an abundance of Christmas cheer find its way to you this week wherever you are, whatever you believe in and however you choose to spend this time.

The Facts of Life

Last night, A. came downstairs because he couldn't get to sleep. This is a fairly common occurrence at the moment, especially with his broken arm. We talked about what was bothering him, and eventually he said how much he wished he had a brother or sister living with us, so then he would not be so scared at night. This is something that many 'only' children must feel (he has two half brothers much older who he doesn't see often), and I felt so very sorry for him.

We talked about this and then things moved on to where babies come from. (I have been wondering when/if he would ask about this sometime!) He sort of knew already, but wanted to be sure. I won't go into our conversation as it was between us, but he did ask, with a certain amount of disbelief, 'Did you and Daddy have to do that to get me?'

However, the main thing about that conversation which has stayed with me, was his struggle with the idea that there are certain things in life that we just can't have, however much we would like them. We talked about his love to have a sibling and how that couldn't happen now, and he then said, 'Well, I suppose we just have to be happy with how things are. and not wish for things we know we can't have' And it was so moving, knowing how much it meant for him to say that.

The facts of life seem so much more complex than simple biology... My question today is, 'What facts of life are you finding difficult to deal with at the moment, and what can you focus on to make things a bit easier NOW?'

Birthday Bash!

A. broke his arm on Tuesday night. He had been staying with his Dad and leapt at him across the bed at bedtime, as 9yr olds do, missed, put out his arm to break his fall and broke his arm instead. His Dad took him to Kendal Hospital where they X-rayed it, put a temporary splint on and sent him to Lancaster Hospital in the middle of the night, for an op to set it the next morning. He is doing OK, managing with this really heavy plaster on his arm, and loads of medicine to ease the pain.

I had been working away for almost 2 weeks with only a day or so back home, when it happened. I won't bore you with the details of how I found out but suffice to say, it highlighted how differently two loving parents can view the same incident! Having ensured that my business colleague would be OK with my leaving the training course, I returned home on Wednesday evening to see my poor lad all pale and bravely clasping his newly plastered arm before him. He had a very painful night but is getting better by the day. Apparently it is a really bad break and he will have to have the plaster for about 6 weeks and it could take up to a year to heal properly... so a less than active Christmas for him. He keeps saying he wished he had a time machine to take him back to before he leapt across the bed!

The day he did it was his Dad's birthday, and Thursday was mine, so both of us were suitably distracted and not bothered about celebrating. (I usually tell all and sundry as I love celebrations...!) However, the upside was that we were together for the day and had lots of calls and relatives round to see how he was doing and it was all quite convivial in spite of the circumstances.

And today there is no question to muse over, just the thought that our loved ones are the most important things in life and it is so awful when we see them suffering and can do little to help and that time spent with them is so precious.

Remembrance

On this Remembrance Sunday we often look back to family times and think about those who are no longer here. As I sat watching the ceremony I thought of my parents and how we always had to be quiet during the 2 minute silence and when I was little I didn't know why, except it was something to do with the war and dead people. And my Grandpa playing the cornet at a Remembrance service and being a bit embarrassed somehow but also moved to tears and not knowing why. And Helen, who died so recently and played a significant role as WREN in WWII.

Today I sat there with so many memories and my son jumping around pretending to play the bagpipes as the Scots played their lament for the dead. And it seemed so poignant and life goes on and we pass on the traditions and somehow it makes a bit of sense of this crazy world.

So today there is no question, just this poem and an image that means different things to each one of us...

In Flanders Field
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row by row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard among the guns below.
By John Macrae

Power Play

In keeping with my revamped web site and new colour scheme I have changed the blog look. Let me know what you think!

This is one of my favourite photos of Autumn, taken last year on a beautiful November day down at Bowness, with the yachts on Windermere waiting like swans for a little breeze to set off across the lake.

On Saturday I went for a 'gentle walk' along the river Lune with the Zest group. 'Gentle' it may have been but more than 6 hours later I returned home quite exhausted after the stroll got rather bogged down in a field of cows, who took a rather more than bovine interest in us! Still, I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt quite entitled to the pizza and red wine I then downed in the evening...

For those of you who may be still wondering about the visit to the astrologer, Lyn Birkbeck, here is a brief summary of what is significant to me now.

Lyn was very professional and the reading was both detailed and personal. Without going into detail, the main messages were that I had a 'challenging ' profile and needed to acknowledge that Power is a key issue for me. And that I had to acknowledge whatever it is that is my 'personal power' and claim it, if I am to become more at ease with myself and fulfil the potential that is written in the stars... Well, I have missed out a lot of stuff and put my own spin on it, but it struck a chord, because I have been grappling with this 'personal power' issue for some time.

Just what is that makes us feel powerful - and good? You know that feeling when everything is going right and you are on a roll? Do you ever suddenly stop and think 'Wait a minute, I shouldn't be feeling/acting/behaving/ like this'? Well, what do you do about it? There are lots of issues around power, and I don't think it is a gender thing. Maybe it is something to do with the way we are brought up, or maybe it is cultural, or ...well, I don't know. But I do know that when we are feeling good about ourselves, our talents and our abilities we become greater and more able to relate, help and generally communicate with other people.

Today's question is - In what area of your life are you shielding your power and not letting it shine through? What can you do to release it so that you can become more of the person you really are and fulfil your true potential?

2 Week Challenge review - better late than never!

It's two weeks since the last posting and it seems a lifetime! I have had a very busy time and am still adjusting to some major shifts in thinking and being. The visit to the astrologer was key to this, in a way I didn't expect. I went to the Mind Body Spirit event in Manchester last week and heard Gill Edwards talk on Wild Love and met lots of interesting people. I am clearer about the Coaching work and my passion for it, and getting out with friends and colleagues is helping to restore much needed balance and stability.

Here is a review of the goals set 3 weeks ago...

1. Get 2 more coaching clients - Yes, but only for 10mins each! CCNET had a stand at a Mind Body Spirit festival in Carlisle and we offered 'On the spot' coaching to give people an idea what it is about. I coached 3 people plus one of our group. I have talked to lots of people about coaching and this will bear fruit in future.

2. Distribute 50 cards about Tarot Life Coaching in local shops and appropriate venues - Yes, some in Betty & Babs and a couple of other shops and also to friends and at the Carlisle event.

3. Advertise for a PA to help me sort out my disorganised work place! - Yes! Through a local network I have met a lovely lady who is coming over on Monday and seems just exactly who I need to sort me out!

4. Update my ICF file on coaching clients for ACC accreditation - No, and I didn't try. Hopefully Chris will help with that.

5. Meet Tarot reader for some more help on the coaching ideas. - Yes, went round to a friend's house for a chat about it and also at two MBS events in Mchstr and Carlisle. I am sure I wnat to offerit as a Coaching tool rather than a divination thing. And the meeting with the astrologer was very illuminating re that ... more later!

6. Contact the person to whom I said I would write an on-line course on Change and Transition and say I won't be doing it (yet). - Yes, and she was fine about it.

7. Say 'No' to at least 5 things! - Probably -not sure, as I haven't counted but I am def saying 'No' to more things and it feels great!

8. Go on a Date.....No, and the dots seemed to indicate my lack of resolve. I did join another dating site and even got chatting to a couple of guys and did not follow it up. I am now sure that that route is not for me. I will meet someone and we will hit it off when the time is right. I had wondered if I was still scared of the idea of dating but I am pretty sure that it is just that other things need to be right, rather than simply saying 'I want to meet someone'. The truth is I want to meet a SPECIAL someone and that will happen when it happens. So a good bit of learning there.

9. Walk for 10mins every other day. - No, but I have done some exercise inclduing a lovely walk on the fells with my Aunt & Uncle, plus walking around the area I live, a long bike ride with A and friends, plus a rigorous Shiatsu session yesterday. I am feeling generally better and will start yoga again this week.

10. Do all of the above!!! - Almost! I truly had not realised how much I had done until I wrote this. And the interesting thing is that I had not kept track of the list once I wrote it.. In fact, I forgot it after a couple of days. The goals I set must have been ones I really wanted to achieve, well, most of them!, and I had also sent out the message to the universe. The one that I amost pleased with meeting Chris who will be a great support - and she recommended a cleaning lady too. So that, combined with a decluttering session with a very helpful coach who helped me to focus on gettng rid of 'stuff', should mean that my living environment will greatly improve.

How did you get on? Congratulate yourself on what you did achieve and have a look at what you didn't. You can learn a lot about yourself from thosethings. Did you REALLY WANT to do them or did you feel you OUGHT to do them? Life is full of OUGHTS and SHOULDS, and sometimes they don't really serve us. What are you currently doing that you feel you SHOULD be doing but would rather not? What do you WANT to do? Why not do it?

Update

This pic has no reason to be here apart from the fact that I took it from the hotel terrace where I was staying recently. Tomorrow I am visiting a local astrologer who has written a number of books and who is going to do a full reading for me, and also maybe help mentor me re the Tarot Life Coaching. And I feel very wary and rather concerned, and yet I know I am being silly.... but I feel he may be able to see inside and I wonder what I am afraid he will see? And now I am writing this I think, well, what is there to be afraid of really? - I am OK and if there are dark bits then it is about time they see some light.

And now maybe the picture, which I chose at random from My Picture file, maybe has some relevance. It is rather dark and could do with a bit of sunlight to brighten up its features, and the bridge does open occasionally to let big ships thru and we all need to open up sometimes... and I am really conscious that this metaphor has done its job and must not be stretched any further!

So, what might need a bit of light shining on in your life. And if you are a bit concerned about that, what does that mean to you?

Oh, and I am doing OK on some of the goals and v badly on others. Will review next week!

2 Week challenge

Good Morning.... it is a sunny day (so far!) and for some reason I have been at this machine for the best part of an hour and it is only just 9am. A is with his dad and the day, Saturday, is set aside to catch up on things. Best news this week is that I have booked to go to New Zealand, with A, early next year, for 5 weeks. I am so excited as it is a dream I have had for many years. More of that later.

A well known coach called David Wood recently sent out a message to take part in a 2 week challenge to achieve as much as you could, and post it on his blog, which I have done. So now I am posting it here with the challenge to you to do the same.

Here goes:

1. Get 2 more coaching clients

2. Distribute 50 cards about Tarot Life Coaching in local shops and appropriate venues

3. Advertise for a PA to help me sort out my disorganised work place!

4. Update my ICF file on coaching clients for ACC accreditation

5. Meet Tarot reader for some more help on the coaching ideas.

6. Contact the person to whom I said I would write an on-line course on Change and Transition and say I won't be doing it (yet).

7. Say 'No' to at least 5 things!

8. Go on a Date.....

9. Walk for 10mins every other day.

10. Do all of the above!!!

I will keep you posted on my progress. So, what could you achieve in 2 weeks if you put your mind to it? If you would like to post it here - great, or join David's list. Have a lovely weekend.

Connections

On Friday I had the first session of the Tarot Life Coaching at Betty & Babs in Kendal. It seemed to go well and the client (sounds rather clinical - wonder what would sound better?) said she found it very helpful. The important thing about what I do is that the power lies with the other person and we both use the cards to get more clarity about a specific question. My role is to ask pertinent questions, challenge views and help the other person to understand their position better. The cards are a starting point.

To gain some inspiration just now, I shuffled the cards and drew this one. Key words include Connection, Truce and Attraction. It has various meanings for me, expecially re the connection with others and an attraction to this work I have started. The truce has come with my past and I feel at peace with its issues. There seem to be some great connections starting to happen in small but significant ways - time will tell where they are going. Unfortunately, there is no special guy to share any other sort of attraction with just now - but maybe he is just waiting for the right moment!

At present I am thinking about intuition and how it can help and hinder us. I use it a lot in my work but sometimes we can be unclear whether it is our intuition or our gremlins connecting with us. The gremlins tend to be negative and drain us, whereas our intuition ....what? In coaching I offer a possible 'intuitive' insight to a client as a possibility, not a direction. Sometimes I confuse intuition with wishful thinking... have you ever done that? It has got me into some intersting scrapes in the past!

So, the musings continue. I want to be able to help others to trust that inner wisdom which we all have, and be able to differentiate between that wisdom and the confusing messages we may also tap into that might not help us. What does your intuition tell you? Do you connect with it enough? How can you develop your inner wisdom to help you to find your own way through life's challenges and enjoy your life more?

Flight of the Phoenix!

I couldn't resist the title of this posting! I have just had my first flight in a glider and absolutely loved it.

It was another Zest outing, this time just for me, as A is on holiday in menorca with his dad. I was really quite nervous beforehand, and even had a dream about it the nite before, where I nearly fell out of the plane. But it was really wonderful and I would love to do it again.

The first flight was to do aerobatics... we did loop the loop and some other fancy manoeuvres, before a very tight landing. The sensation of being upside down at speed was indescribable! Then it was off for a longer glide over a nearby hill, where I could look down on the hang gliders and enjoy the brilliant sensation of feeling as free as a bird. The pilot was great, very reassuring and patient, esp when I had a go with the controls, and set us off towards the ground at a rate of knots! I quickly decided to leave the plane in his capable hands and simply enjoy the ride.

The thing that struck me afterwards was how the fear of the flight very nearly made me not do it, and I could so easily have missed this wonderful time. Fear is a very natural emotion and it must not stop us from experiencing things, simply help us to check that we are not being totally foolish or taking unfeasible risks. If we can use it to have a check about risk when we want to try sthg different or change sthg, and then overcome it, we grow and move on.

So what do you fear? Is the fear a reasonable one or simply the result of your overactive imagination? Maybe others have put the fear into your mind. What does your inner voice tell you? What fear can you over come this week? To quote Susan Jeffers, is it time to Feel the Fear - and Do it Anyway?

Zest!

Wow, what a great day out! My son and I have recently joined this activity club and we had a really fun day at a Leisure lake nearby, where A tried out waterskiing, canoeing, banana boat riding and Xstream - being towed behind a speed boat at full speed, on a giant inflatable platform.

As you may know if you have been reading this blog, part of the changes I am making to our lives, is to get more social life, and this club certainly has lots going on in the Lancashire area.... A great way to meet new people, share different activities and have some fun.. Can't be bad!

So, thought for today - what can you try this week that is different and fun and brings a smile to your face? The mind boggles - as they used to say!!!

Life and change

A lot of my work is about helping people deal with change and today was no exception. I am currently working with about 30 people who are being made redundant from a local factory, most of whom have spent the majority of their working lives in this one job. Most of them have enjoyed their work and are rather fearful about what will happen next. The biggest concerns are around the unknown; questions like 'What will they want to know at the dole office?' (even after so many years of rebranding, the local Job centre is still known as the Dole Office to many, with all the accompanying stigma.) 'What can I do; all I have ever known is how to do X.' 'How will someone of my age ever get another job?'

My role is to do some practical stuff like writing a CV which represents in a positive light all the great things they have achieved in their working life, help them with Job Search, access local jobs and employers and do some training in Interview skills...but it is so much more. A lot of it is around building confidence and encouraging people to try something different with an open mind. After many years in this business, I know that many of them will get jobs that actually bring out other facets that they may never have been aware of, and give satisfaction in ways never dreamed. But it is a very scary time and my main job now is to help make the feared more acceptable and less challenging.

Change comes to us all in different guises and even when we apparently choose change, for instance, when we marry someone we dearly love, or move to a beautiful new home or have a much longed for baby, we are never really prepared for the impact of that change. We can search out many different ways to minimise the impact of change, but we can never truly escape its effects.

So my thoughts today are around acceptance of this phase of life and trying to help others to develop a positive outlook, whilst facing the realities of their situation. Something I too strive for and sometimes achieve!

In Memoriam

The day after writing the last post, I went to Southport to do some training for a dental practice. Afterwards, I visited a dear relative, Helen, 92yrs old, who was in a home nearby. She had been very ill and when I arrived they said she had deteriorated and might only have a few days to live. My father's cousin, she had no siblings or children, and my brothers and I were her closest relatives. She was very weak, barely able to talk but knew I was there. Having called Graeme, my brother living in Menorca, I then spent the night nearby. Graeme flew back the next day to be with her.

For the next few days we travelled between home and Southport, spending as much time with Helen as possible. BM was taking LS camping so was able to look after him during this time. Helen died on Monday 21st August, very peacefully; we were with her to share her passing and she had a gentle going.

Helen was a very special lady, loved by many and we will miss her. She had a fantastic time in the WRNS during WWII and at her funeral there were 10 WRNS, all in their 80s and 90s, to say farewell, as well as many other friends, family and carers. She had married at 39 yrs old - Uncle Dick was a fighter pilot in Bomber Command and what you might call a 'rough diamond'. They loved each greatly and Helen's genteel manner was a perfect foil for Dick's more robust approach to life! He died many years ago and we have visited her regularly since then.

On an even sadder note, the following Friday after Helen died, one of BM's brothers died really suddenly. He had had Muscular Distrophy but although in a wheelchair, was relatively well until an operation went tragically wrong. BM dropped LS off on his way up to Scotland to be with his family. He is in a state of shock, as is all the family, esp his mother, who is frail and in her 80s. K was only 45yrs old and leaves a wife and two teenage sons.

To end a very traumatic week, on the same day K died, Uncle J heard that his 83yr old Mum was taken ill on holiday in Spain, and he has flown out to be with her.

So, a very difficult time for everyone and we are all supporting each other in our own ways. My brother G returns to Spain on Wednesday, having been invaluable in many ways, both practically and emotionally. LS (who has said he doesn't want to be know as LS, but A, which is the initial of his first name, rather than the initials of a nick name!) goes back to school tomorrow. And I am working on a redundancy project, helping people get jobs during the closure of a local factory.

Life goes on... but we miss those who touched our lives in so many different ways whilst they were here.