Giving up wine n chocs for Lent ...!

Now why did I do that? It was Pancake Day and my son and I were on the way to the school bus. I was explaining to him what it was about ... you know, 'Well the real reason why we have pancakes is, er, it's something to do with Easter and Jesus, and giving up things for Lent, so we have to eat up all the eggs and milk and lemons and caster sugar and golden syrup and ...'

Anyway, this led A to ask me what I was giving up for Lent (kids - ha!) and that's when I heard myself say I was giving up eating chocolate and drinking wine .... He sort of smiled and then said, 'Right - well, I could give up eating chocolates'. I pointed out that he didn't really like chocolate so that was not really going to be a hardship, now was it?!

So then he said he would give up sweets, which is more of a big deal with him, and he added, 'Cos it's not good for my teeth, is it Mum?'

I was really stuck then, cos he was taking it seriously, and if he was going to, then so did I - didn't I? I did a bit of thinking (not easy at 7.45am) and said, 'OK, well then you give up sweets and I'll give up chocolates till Easter Sunday, and I will give up wine during the week.'

So that's what we have agreed - and amazingly, so far we have not eaten any sweets, chocolates or drunk any wine (the wine's me, not him you understand!). Admittedly, I have got a cold and cough and haven't felt like it, and it is only 3 days so far, but even so ...!

I'm still not sure why we did it, (not having much of a religious streak, and never having given anything up voluntarily before!) but it may not be a bad thing ... and my clothes could just fit a bit better for when spring does finally come. I'll keep you posted.

If you were to give up one thing till Easter Sunday, what would it be? Look at the positive benefits you might get - and it's not for too long. Let me know if you like, and we'll keep each other company ...

A Valentine's Message for You

Happy Valentine's Day to you all. It is a day to celebrate love and I want to thank all of you who I have worked with in the past year, who have supported me both professionally and personally and everyone whose lives I have touched in whatever way.

A couple of days ago I interviewed a really charming man as part of my research into Inspiring Leadership. He is the Bishop of Penrith and he shared with me many of his beliefs and ideas about modern-day leadership. It was so refreshing to hear someone using the word 'love' when talking about this subject. He said it was very important for a good leader to love those whom he or she leads, and that he hoped they would love their leader too.

Maybe the word 'love' word needs to be resurrected in the business community, where we have seen so much greed and self-serving uncovered in the past few months.

I wish you love and happiness at this time and all through the year ... and may you pass that love on to others in your life, whoever they are and wherever they may be.

The Flirt Guru

This afternoon I had coffee with Elizabeth Clark, better known as the Flirt Guru. She lives not far from me and my lovely mentor, Allan, had suggested I talk to her in my quest to re-invent myself and take a new angle to my work in 2009.

We met in a local garden centre cafe and immediately discovered both of us only had enough change to buy a coffee instead of the lunch we had promised ourselves! Ice broken, we then sat down to a 3 hour chat about becoming a 'name' rather than a business, and how it could be done.

Elizabeth is very successful, having published books, been on TV and radio and getting booked for speaking engagements all over the place. She was really down-to-earth, very friendly and gave me loads of help and encouragement in my current quest. So, if you want to find out how to flirt better, overcome your nerves speaking in public or have a really inspiring and fun speaker check out http://www.flirtguru.com/ and give her a call!

... and watch this space as I continue my search for a new way of connecting my passion for being true to yourself, with helping others to become the really great, unique people they were born to be ....

My New Year resolution ...

Happy 2009. How do you feel just a couple of weeks into this new year? Are you looking forward with trepidation, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, dread, curiosity ...? It is always such a strange time of year. An arbitrary date then dictates all those 'shoulds' and 'oughts' that are linked to making resolutions that we may or may not keep.

I gave up setting NY resolutions some time ago, but this year decided to make one that I actually wanted to keep, cos it was fun, not serious. And it is - to wear shorter skirts more often. Yes, that's right, at the age of 54 I have decided that my legs are one of the few assets that I have and that I could make a bit more of them in this current economic downturn. Nothing too dramatic you understand, just a little shorter than the mid-calf I had taken to wearing as I turned 50. So I try not to automatically go for the trousers or long skirt in my wardrobe when dressing for work - and hope that I can get through the winter without chilblains!

And finally, having just got back from a walk with my lovely business mentor, I have been pondering on what the Oracle at Delphi might say regarding the signs for the coming year. And do you know - I have not got the faintest idea! Hope it a positive one for you, whatever happens.

Remembrance of Things Past

So it's that time of year again when we look back and remember those who gave so much to enable us to be where we are today. As I watched the Memorial Service yesterday, I had a vivid flashback to my days as a child when Dad used to make us watch the same service. On a black and white TV, I recollect grainy images of old men and women walking solemnly past the Cenotaph, and Dad telling me that I had to be very grateful because they had been through so much to give us freedom... and I didn't really know what he meant by freedom, just knew it must be important.

Dad was in the Navy at the end of WW2 and spoke, with great warmth, of the comradeship and spirit that was so much a part of that time. My brother was in the RAF and posted to Ireland and he also refers to the sense of working together and the knowledge that life was precious - to all involved.

And another memory came back, of a man called Alan, who ran the sweetshop in Southport near my Grandma's. His face was dreadfully scarred from burns he had suffered in a fighter plane crash in WW2. We kids were scared of him because he looked so different - and yet he was such a kind man and it must have been very difficult for him to be always having people shy away when they saw his injuries.

And somehow just remembering all this was sort of sad and yet reassuring. The past has a lot to share with us. In these days of fast food, instant gratification and the quick fix - it is worth remembering that some things are worth fighting for, take longer to achieve, but are so worth it all in the long run.

What is worth fighting for in your life?

George Bush and arguments!

Do you have any idea of what most of the financial guys are talking about at the moment? If you do, please let me know. What I did understand was that at in the US last night these really important people in whose hands out future is supposed to be - had a big barney! Not sure how I am supposed to feel about the fact that these guys can't agree on what they are supposed to do to hep us out of this fiscal mess - but it was weirdly reassuring that even they have to resort to playground antics when under pressure.

All I know is that I am determined not to be swept away with too much rhetoric and financial doom and gloom. I am currently reading 'Nella Last's War' written by a Barrow housewife during the second world war. It puts so much into perspective.

We are not being bombed here in Cumbria and the local farmer's market still sells lots of great food to eat - and my son goes to school without fear of attack. So life seems pretty good to me and I hope it is OK with you too.

What do you need to remind yourself of to keep a sense of perspective? Hope you find something uplifting!!

Jelly Beans & perspective

This week I have been arranging things in our new office at Clawthorpe Hall in Cumbria. It is great fun, a bit like playing house, as a client said today. This has included two chairs belonging to my grandmother, a Jelly Bean dispenser, a peace lily (good Feng Shui), lots of compasses which are the Chartwell symbol and some lovely plants outside the window to hide the rather ugly looking fencing and brighten up our outlook.

I don't want to work in the usual office environment which seems rather uncreative and uninspiring. I believe that your workplace can reflect your personality and the ideal that you aspire to in your working life. It is important that my clients feel comfortable when they are having their coaching and that our team is in an inspiring and uplifting place during our working week.

So, the question to you is - what can you do to brighten up your working environment and make it more relaxing/uplifting/comfortable/welcoming or whatever ambiance you want to create?

Falling down ...

Time seems to be speeding up just now and there are not enough hours in the day to get all done that is clamouring for attention. But goodthings are happening and I must keep reminding myself that it is what I asked for some time ago. Work is keeping me fully occupied and home life is busy too. And one of the reasons this has happened is that I fell down - twice, literally, and the metaphorical impact is with me now. As are the bruises!

Just over a week ago I was running downstairs, late for an appointment when I tripped and fell down six stairs. I lay in a heap not wanting to get up, and feeling overwhelmed. I had to give myself a good talking to about not rushing so much and why was I rushing anyway? And an image came into my head of when I worked in Hong Kong, in the busy corporate maelstrom that substitutes for life over there. And I realised that I had to slow down, that I was losing touch with what was important to me.

I had to take a long, hard look at reality and face a few home truths that I didn't want to see. I decided I needed to step back a bit and get that overview that I had lost being caught up in the detail. So I put in place some strategies and emergency measures and other such sensible things to enable us to continue and thought all was OK

Then a few days ago I fell over again (and no wine involved in either case!) and I realised I had simply replaced one set of 'shoulds' for another.... and now I really am taking time out and stepping back - so that I don't fall over.

... and so the question today is - what do you need to step back from, to stop you from falling over?

What a circus!

Well, it's been a real merry-go-round of a time since I last wrote. I have moved into a new office, got a new website, had a great time with old friends from Greece and, maybe most importantly, my son has been to his new secondary school for the first time to see his new classmates and meet his new teacher. All big stuff and I am feeling rather discombobulated by it all!

The new office is a big cause for celebration cos it is in the place I had hoped to go to a year ago but life intervened and now it is really happening, Have you ever had that feeling that life has suddenly moved into another zone - one that you had some choice over but that you had not really any idea where it might take you? That's how it is now ... Great to somewhere new and special and I feel sure it is the beginning of something good and fun but am not quite sure what yet!

The website is still very much a work in progress and really not quite ready for a viewing public - but it is 'live', full of errors and proving the benefit of fallibility as a core value as I need to work lots on it and I can't quite work out how to edit it yet and my designer is on holiday and ...aaaaargh!!! But my need for control and perfection is being challenged and I must just go with the flow til it all comes right.

My son is very happy with his great school and at 11years of age it all before him. And that makes me happier than anything.

At some point I am going to start a new Blog cos I now focus on Leadership so this may be one of the last posts I do on this Lifecoach musings theme, but it won't change too much. Til then - a question for you. What in your life do you really want to do? When are you going to do it? What's stopping you? Don't let that stop you! JDI! Just Do It!

Podcasting advice?

I am in the process of getting a new website designed and facing all the usual angst of what to put on it, how to say it and what I want it to do. A lovely guy called Gavin is doing all the difficult techy stuff and we have big ideas for the future ... but it is the present that is taxing me just now!

We want to include a regular podcast but are not sure how to go about it and whether it is a good idea. I found this great blog www.pbs.org/mediashift/2007/12/post_3.html which seems to sum up the problems facing Podcasters (image from this blog), but if anyone can share their experience of podcasting especially anyone in training or coaching I would really appreciate it. Please email me via the link on the right.

In the meantime, we will persevere and hope that one day in the not too distant future I will be announcing the new website in this very Blog...

Spring bulbs

It's a rather grey, wet and gloomy Saturday morning and the frosty, sunny days of the past couple of weeks are away, leaving a really nice memory of walking in the country wrapped up in scarf, woolly pully and gloves, scraping frost off the windscreen first thing in the morning and the skimpy silhouettes of bare branches outlined against pastel skies.

Suddenly the garden is starting to show real signs of spring growth. Last year I planted loads of bulbs and here they are, peering through the ground, snowdrops and crocuses already showing their delicate little heads, tiny daffs braving the frost and the climbing hydrangea budding wondrously. I am a bit concerned about the glorious camellia bush, which has hundreds of fabulous pink buds ready to come out. The frost may have damaged them, which would be a real shame, as they give a lovely show each March and really cheer up the garden - and me!

February is almost over and we are no doubt in for some more bad weather before March is out - The March wind doth blow and we shall have snow. However, there will also be some lovely days. Make the most of them and always remember that nothing lasts forever- good or bad... And on that profound and philosophical note, I shall end till the next time!

Endings & Beginnings

This image was chosen by A. when I gave him the name of this week's blog. He is into skateboarding and this has some connection with that. There is a tenuous link here as he broke his wrist skateboarding when we were down in Poole last October and we were considering moving there. And last week we decided to not to move there.... for various reasons but all the right ones - I hope!

So that is the end of a dream that has kept me going for some time, and which allowed me to dream big and consider things that I have not thought of at before. But I am a great believer in following your heart and also making the best of things and my heart is telling me that we should stay here - and pursue the dream here in the North West.

So now I am looking at the new opportunities available and the new beginnings that can be made in a place that, until recently, I had seriously considered leaving. And do you know, now that I am looking at things from a different angle, there are more positives than I had seen before, and I am even starting to get excited about life here.

So, my question today is - what ending might you need to face before you can really see the wonder of the new beginnings?

And Happy Valentine's Day if I don't get chance to write again before the 14th February. Did you notice the lovely pink heart in the image above? Lots of love - Zoe

New Year Review

Happy New Year - I really hope it is good one for you and that it brings contentment and fulfilment.

This photo is of the dolphins that A and I swam with almost a year ago and represents the realisation of a long-held dream to visit New Zealand and travel around that lovely country. Swimming with dolphins is something I have wanted to do for years and it was truly memorable. Sometimes it is important to revisit goals and dreams we set in the past and recognise that we can achieve them. It is so easy to just forge ahead and not look back to see just what we have achieved.

So I guess my message this time is to take some time out, look at what you have achieved and celebrate that - before charging ahead to set new dreams and goals. And if you have not achieved something you have set out yet, maybe just think about what you have learnt from simply believing that you could possibly achieve something.

Let go of your fears and embrace your dreams - and if you don't get there, at least you tried.

Time flies ...

And so the run up to Christmas starts. And doesn't it just seem to get faster and faster each year? One minute we are in November and it all seems far off - then suddenly it's only two weeks away and there are cards to write, presents to wrap, trees to dress and halls to be decked with boughs of holly - tra la la la laaa.

Well, I love it all, even when it gets frenetic and rather stressy. I love the bright lights, the tinsel, the cheesy songs (tho not until 1st December has passed), the crowds, the hustle, the bustle and the cheer. And I also enjoy the Carol concert to remind me what it is really all about and the gift-giving to show love and affection, and reading my son the Christmas story to help him see that it all has a reason, even if we tend to lose it somewhat in the razzmatazz.

However, I know lots of people really don't like this time of year and it can certainly exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness. My Mum never liked Christmas, possibly something to do with Dad leaving home on Boxing Day for another woman, and my oldest brother has never enjoyed the 'fakeness' and enforced jollity, not helped by his having a birthday on New Year's Day, when everyone is too hungover or partied out to want to know.

Whatever you are feeling coming up to this unavoidable 'festivity', irrespective of religion or belief, I hope you find some thing to enjoy about it all, if only the fact that you must be doing OK in one way shape or form if you are reading this! I am off to clear up the pine needles which are already starting to cascade over the carpet - oh joy!

Sleepless in New Hall

It's 5am and I can't sleep. Woke up at 3am and spent ages just lying in bed with vague thoughts turning over in my head until they started to become worries and I knew I had to write.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and just know that you are not going to be able to get back to sleep? And then start to think about 'stuff' and then it gets worse and you are tired and you know that you are going to feel lousy in the morning and the more you try to go back to sleep the worse it becomes? And maybe 'accidentally' wake up the other person next to you so you can offload it onto them? Or toss and turn until you are quite exhausted with it all?

Well, that's how it is just now and I have found in the past that writing helps, so I usually have my journal by the bed and when I jot down what is on my mind it seems to get it back in perspective. Only now, I am staying in a beautiful old hotel in Sutton Coldfield and there is no one to wake up and my journal is miles away....

So here I am , writing some 'stuff' and hoping it will clear my head enough to get back to sleep for an hour before I have to get up and prepare for the first day of a rather demanding Leadership programme. And what is on my mind is the fact that I am contemplating a major change in my life which will affect everyone around me, and I am not totally sure it is the right thing to do, but I know I have to explore it fully until the final decision is made one way or the other.

In the Harry Potter books, Dumbledore has a Penseive, a bowl into which he magically puts his thoughts to enable him to think more clearly and get some peace. I bet he doesn't have people saying - 'Oh he thinks too much', cos maybe that's OK for magicians, but for us lesser mortals it is a real pain, sometimes, thinking too much, and I wish I could stop it at times, but all I can do is manage it, and this is the result today.

So, I will try to get a bit of sleep (and will probably go into one of those deep sleeps you get before dawn, and feel really groggy!) now that I have offloaded into my interactive Penseive, and shared it with you. This hotel is absolutely gorgeous (800yr old moated manor house - with cosy beds that encourage sleep!) so I will prepare to enjoy a few days' work in these wonderful surroundings.

Hoping you are getting enough sleep and if not, that you find your own Penseive to help you rest ...

The tyranny of the pc!

Just a quickie cos I have not been on for a while and am aware that I started to feel I OUGHT to be writing my Blog, rather than wanting to. Life has speeded up rather a lot recently and I am finding that I really resent the way I am allowing my pc to rule my day. From first thing when I check my emails, to last thing at night, when I check again I seem to spend ages in front of this machine. How did something which was supposed to free us up from some hard graft (and create a paperless office - ha!) become such a hard taskmaster?

Anyway, the upshot is, that after a lovely few days RnR in Menorca with Alex, staying with my brother, I have decided to do far less, if I can, at the pc, and ask people to phone me if it is important as I am not going to check things so often or reply so quickly. And I am trying to cut down the time in front of the screen to help my poor shoulder repair itself as it has got pain from sitting too long in front of the screen. Let's see what happens!

And if anyone has any suggestions for how to manage emails better so let me know....

Releasing the Creative force?

Good morning. It's a glorious day here in Nth Lancashire and I hope it is with you too. We are finally getting the summer we were promised back in March - and very welcome it is too. As part of my recuperation after the op I am able to sit out in the garden soaking up the rays and relaxing. And how strange that is. It is not something I have been able to do easily and yet I love it! And that got me thinking about lots of other things that we love doing - and yet don't do nearly enough. Things like having meals out, friends over for dinner, sailing, walking, travel, going to the theatre - oh and so many other things.

However, enforced rest gives us time to reflect and it can be a real plus too. An astrologer who I interviewed for the research on Inspirational Leadership asked what energy this op was connected to. And I think it is related to the release of some pent up creative force that has been trying to get out for some time but which I was blocking. Not sure where that will take me but I sense it will be a very positive momentum.

One thing that I am doing is reconsidering in more detail the way I live and work - a theme that has been raising its head since I started this Blog over a year ago. It has been an interesting and fruitful period in many ways and there are more changes to come. And if you are having a time when you can't do what you would normally be doing, due to illness or other extraneous circumstances, what energy is it connecting you to and what might be the benefits for you and others around you?

Operation Surprise

Well, life is full of surprises isn't it - and I certainly got one recently. Coming back from a lovely few days camping in Abersoch (a Mums & Sons break with great weather and good company) I experienced intense pain and ended up going straight to Lancaster Royal Infirmary, where 3 days later, I had a hysterectomy.

I am now at home, still in a bit of a state of shock, mobility slowed down and not able to drive for another few weeks. What has overwhelmed me has been the love and support from friends and family both near and far. As someone who finds it rather difficult to ask for help, this time has been a wonderful reminder of what it is to have such a great network around me. From the visitors in hospital who brought fruit, flowers, gossipy mags, pretty nighties and tasty delights, to the myriad offers of help with shopping, housework, general cheering up and regular phone calls, everyone has been brilliant.

My son, A, has been really considerate, making his own breakfast, bringing me meals in bed when I am feeling tired and even washing up and hoovering - not things he has done too often in his 10yrs! I think he was fairly shaken by his Mum being in hospital but fortunately his Dad took him on holiday straight after the op so he has had some distractions.

So now all I have to do is take it easy, read lots, try not to fret about the lack of income and unpaid bills and maybe use this time to simply enjoy 'being' not doing. I chose this picture cos it's called 'New Dawn, Lake Kivu, Rwanda' and it feels somehow like a new dawn, a new opportunity to get better, make the most of a clean bill of health and plan how to have some more fun in life. Starting now, with a DVD fest of all the episodes of Sex in the City, which a good mate brought round to keep me going over the next few weeks! I'll keep you posted ...

Global warming - does it mean lots of rain?

Summer - ha! If you live in England then you may well be wondering where that glorious summer we were promised in April, has gone... Maybe on its hols or hiding cos it doesn't want to upset us after all its bad publicity. For those of you who are hankering after some glorious summer sun - here are some very pretty sun flowers, doing what sun flowers do...

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

Whatever you have planned for the next few weeks, I do hope the sun will shine on you - it cheers things up, makes us feel generally better and gives some of us who otherwise look far too pale and uninteresting, a slight glow of colour that cheers the spirit.

Kalo Kalokeiri - Happy Summer as they say in Greece (apologies for dodgy spelling!)

Summer days!

Hi - how are you and how are you doing with this summer? If you are here in England then you may well be having to cope with one of the wettest and gloomiest summers in many a long day. Here is a nice picture of sun flowers doing what sun flowers do

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

We all need a bit of sunshine to brighten our days - and these days we are made to feel guilty sometimes becasue of the 'damage' sun can do. Well, I spent 8 yrs of my life living in countries where the sun ruled and I can say that, tho my skin may be crinkled from over- exposure, I really enjoyed the benefits it gave, including that wonderful feeling of well-being we get from just being around it.

Having lived in Greece for 4 yrs and seen how the Greeks loved the sun, I agree with what one philosopher said - 'Moderation in all things' but you do need at least a bit of it to be able to be moderate.

So, I hope you can find a bit of your own sunshine somewhere this month and if you can't find it literally then hopefully you can get some metaphorically, if only from this picture!