Sleepless in New Hall

It's 5am and I can't sleep. Woke up at 3am and spent ages just lying in bed with vague thoughts turning over in my head until they started to become worries and I knew I had to write.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and just know that you are not going to be able to get back to sleep? And then start to think about 'stuff' and then it gets worse and you are tired and you know that you are going to feel lousy in the morning and the more you try to go back to sleep the worse it becomes? And maybe 'accidentally' wake up the other person next to you so you can offload it onto them? Or toss and turn until you are quite exhausted with it all?

Well, that's how it is just now and I have found in the past that writing helps, so I usually have my journal by the bed and when I jot down what is on my mind it seems to get it back in perspective. Only now, I am staying in a beautiful old hotel in Sutton Coldfield and there is no one to wake up and my journal is miles away....

So here I am , writing some 'stuff' and hoping it will clear my head enough to get back to sleep for an hour before I have to get up and prepare for the first day of a rather demanding Leadership programme. And what is on my mind is the fact that I am contemplating a major change in my life which will affect everyone around me, and I am not totally sure it is the right thing to do, but I know I have to explore it fully until the final decision is made one way or the other.

In the Harry Potter books, Dumbledore has a Penseive, a bowl into which he magically puts his thoughts to enable him to think more clearly and get some peace. I bet he doesn't have people saying - 'Oh he thinks too much', cos maybe that's OK for magicians, but for us lesser mortals it is a real pain, sometimes, thinking too much, and I wish I could stop it at times, but all I can do is manage it, and this is the result today.

So, I will try to get a bit of sleep (and will probably go into one of those deep sleeps you get before dawn, and feel really groggy!) now that I have offloaded into my interactive Penseive, and shared it with you. This hotel is absolutely gorgeous (800yr old moated manor house - with cosy beds that encourage sleep!) so I will prepare to enjoy a few days' work in these wonderful surroundings.

Hoping you are getting enough sleep and if not, that you find your own Penseive to help you rest ...