Musing Of A Leadership Coach

A new Business Venture!

2010-02-17T12:07:00.003Z

I have not posted anything on this Leadership Blog since last year because I have been exploring a new business venture - The Quirky Traveller. It has been a really exciting, challenging, scary and ultimately fulfilling few months. I am now at the stage where I can start to share it more widely so watch this space for more details.

It came about because my training & coaching work had been really hit by the recession and I needed to look at another income stream. Because I had already got the name @quirkytraveller on Twitter, I decided to explore my love of Travel and see where it took me. I have written about this for Mark Shaw, who is a Twitter 'guru' and a great help to newbies & oldies alike. To find out what Quirky means to me and how Twitter helped me to add another string to my business bow - read The Quirky Traveller Twitter Tale and let me know what you think.

Join me here for Quirky Traveller Tales and more inspiring journeys ...

Finding your Leadership Voice in Tough Times

2009-08-11T13:14:00.012+01:00

In these challenging times it can be difficult to know what to say to the people who work for and with us. Should we admit to concerns or worries or ought we to be always upbeat and positive? A number of my clients are grappling with this dilemma at present. They have been through many months of a changing business climate and there is still a great deal of uncertainty ahead.

So how do you motivate and inspire staff who may be worried about losing their jobs ...? What do you tell customers and clients who may be wondering if your business will be here next month ...?

One thing is true; in whatever business you are in, people's B***S**T detectors are on high alert! Everyone has their antennae tuned in for signs that things may not be as rosy as might be painted. And none of us take kindly to having the wool pulled over our eyes when it comes to truth-telling.

So what I suggest is that you ask yourself the following questions:

What is the REALITY of your current situation?
Where do you SEE your business in 6months/1yr/3yrs/5yrs' time?
What do your staff/suppliers/customers/clients NEED to HEAR from you?
What INFORMATION & VISION do you need to SHARE with others?
What's in it for them to BUY INTO your message?
What do you find INSPIRING about your message?
How does it link to your VALUES?
How are you going to PERSUADE/INFLUENCE others to join you in this?
What is the overall OUTCOME that you want?
When are you going to DO this and what SUPPORT do you need?

By going through this process, in whatever order seems appropriate, you become clearer on what is really important for you and everyone else involved in your business. And if you are genuine in all of this, others will pick up on that and happily share in your leadership challenge.

My recommended reading is shown opposite - Stephen Covey always gives food for thought.

Good luck - and if I can help you in any way, get in touch any time.

The Quirky Traveller logo - & identity

2009-06-22T20:39:00.007+01:00

Just a quick note before I take a much needed break. I have been spending a lot of time recently coming up with the new logo and working with Adam Thorp of http://www.thorpc reative.com/ who has come up with a great one. I have loads of help from friends and family to get something that would be quirky, colourful and individual. What do you think of it?

I am really enjoying working on something that is fun and the Quirky Traveller persona is tapping into a lot of my loves and interests in life that have not been explored more publicly. This 'face' is probably a more relaxed and - well, yes, quirky one than my 'business' one.

But ... the thing it has made me think about is - what is our identity? What bits of us do we choose to share with the world and what do we keep to ourself? What face or faces do you show to the world and, if you could show just a bit more, what would it be?

The Quirky Traveller sets out ...

2009-05-30T10:30:00.006+01:00

I have not been doing my Blog for some time as I have been busy reinventing myself! It's a very exciting time as I take the plunge and pursue my passion for travel - of the mind, body and spirit. As part of this process I had some quirky pics taken by Karen and Chris of http://www.lordmartin.com/ This one shows the beautiful quilt I got in Pukeiti, New Zealand.

When I was young I had a copy of the Larousse Encyclopaedia of Mythology. I used to dream of visiting all those wonderful places shown in the book - the Acropolis in Athens, the tombs of the Kings in Egypt, Machu Pichu in Peru, the temple at Llhasa in Tibet ... and many more.

In my mid-20s I finally gave up a secure teaching job and a steady boyfriend to go and live in Greece and follow my heart ... It was the most fantastic experience and I have never looked back.

So, on Wednesday 3rd June, I am talking about this journey at the Mirehouse, near Keswick with the lovely ladies of http://www.foodandcompany.co.uk/ They're going to be demonstrating how to cook some tasty Greek dishes and then there will be a delicious lunch served in the grounds of historic Mirehouse, on the shores on Bassenthwaite Lake. Join us if you can for a "Taste Of Greece With the REAL Mamma Mia!" - book via the Food & Co website.

Finally, what dreams are you holding in your heart? Do you really want to make them a reality? What one thing could you do today to move that dream nearer to reality? Let me know - I would love to hear about them. Happy travelling!

Spring - Leadership Tips for Goal Setting

2009-03-25T11:57:00.007Z

To many of us, the Spring Equinox marks the real start of Spring. Back in January I resolved to wear shorter skirts - and that resolution is still in place, tho I still prefer jeans to skirts! Then I decided to give up wine (tho not at weekends) and chocs till Easter. And I am delighted to report that I have kept to that resolve too - tho it's proving more difficult to resist the chocs, to my great surprise ...

But what I wanted so share with you is the value of setting goals that you really want to achieve rather than slogging away at ones that your heart isn't in. It is well documented that you are far more likely to achieve success when you're doing something that you can see a real benefit from doing, rather than one you feel you ought to be doing.

There is also a clearly defined and measurable impact when you write them down and share them with others. This works on lots of different levels. Writing them down helps to embed them in your brain, making it more likely you will remember to do them. Telling others helps in this way too, and by voicing them, you can get support and encouragement which will help you to keep on track - and make it far more likely you will succeed.

That's why I decided to include my resolutions here in the Blog - knowing others see it has made me accountable and I guess a bit ashamed if I don't keep to them!

Having a coach to give you more support, challenge and options is another way you can increase your chances of success, so if you want my help, drop me a line and let's get started.

So, what do you want to achieve over the next few months, what support do you need and how are you going to get it? Let me know and I'll share some more tips to help you along the way.

Giving up wine n chocs for Lent ...!

2009-02-27T13:45:00.000Z

Now why did I do that? It was Pancake Day and my son and I were on the way to the school bus. I was explaining to him what it was about ... you know, 'Well the real reason why we have pancakes is, er, it's something to do with Easter and Jesus, and giving up things for Lent, so we have to eat up all the eggs and milk and lemons and caster sugar and golden syrup and ...'

Anyway, this led A to ask me what I was giving up for Lent (kids - ha!) and that's when I heard myself say I was giving up eating chocolate and drinking wine .... He sort of smiled and then said, 'Right - well, I could give up eating chocolates'. I pointed out that he didn't really like chocolate so that was not really going to be a hardship, now was it?!

So then he said he would give up sweets, which is more of a big deal with him, and he added, 'Cos it's not good for my teeth, is it Mum?'

I was really stuck then, cos he was taking it seriously, and if he was going to, then so did I - didn't I? I did a bit of thinking (not easy at 7.45am) and said, 'OK, well then you give up sweets and I'll give up chocolates till Easter Sunday, and I will give up wine during the week.'

So that's what we have agreed - and amazingly, so far we have not eaten any sweets, chocolates or drunk any wine (the wine's me, not him you understand!). Admittedly, I have got a cold and cough and haven't felt like it, and it is only 3 days so far, but even so ...!

I'm still not sure why we did it, (not having much of a religious streak, and never having given anything up voluntarily before!) but it may not be a bad thing ... and my clothes could just fit a bit better for when spring does finally come. I'll keep you posted.

If you were to give up one thing till Easter Sunday, what would it be? Look at the positive benefits you might get - and it's not for too long. Let me know if you like, and we'll keep each other company ...

A Valentine's Message for You

2009-02-13T18:08:00.005Z

Happy Valentine's Day to you all. It is a day to celebrate love and I want to thank all of you who I have worked with in the past year, who have supported me both professionally and personally and everyone whose lives I have touched in whatever way.

A couple of days ago I interviewed a really charming man as part of my research into Inspiring Leadership. He is the Bishop of Penrith and he shared with me many of his beliefs and ideas about modern-day leadership. It was so refreshing to hear someone using the word 'love' when talking about this subject. He said it was very important for a good leader to love those whom he or she leads, and that he hoped they would love their leader too.

Maybe the word 'love' word needs to be resurrected in the business community, where we have seen so much greed and self-serving uncovered in the past few months.

I wish you love and happiness at this time and all through the year ... and may you pass that love on to others in your life, whoever they are and wherever they may be.

The Flirt Guru

2009-02-05T19:18:00.005Z

This afternoon I had coffee with Elizabeth Clark, better known as the Flirt Guru. She lives not far from me and my lovely mentor, Allan, had suggested I talk to her in my quest to re-invent myself and take a new angle to my work in 2009.

We met in a local garden centre cafe and immediately discovered both of us only had enough change to buy a coffee instead of the lunch we had promised ourselves! Ice broken, we then sat down to a 3 hour chat about becoming a 'name' rather than a business, and how it could be done.

Elizabeth is very successful, having published books, been on TV and radio and getting booked for speaking engagements all over the place. She was really down-to-earth, very friendly and gave me loads of help and encouragement in my current quest. So, if you want to find out how to flirt better, overcome your nerves speaking in public or have a really inspiring and fun speaker check out http://www.flirtguru.com/ and give her a call!

... and watch this space as I continue my search for a new way of connecting my passion for being true to yourself, with helping others to become the really great, unique people they were born to be ....

My New Year resolution ...

2009-01-13T15:36:00.006Z

Happy 2009. How do you feel just a couple of weeks into this new year? Are you looking forward with trepidation, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, dread, curiosity ...? It is always such a strange time of year. An arbitrary date then dictates all those 'shoulds' and 'oughts' that are linked to making resolutions that we may or may not keep.

I gave up setting NY resolutions some time ago, but this year decided to make one that I actually wanted to keep, cos it was fun, not serious. And it is - to wear shorter skirts more often. Yes, that's right, at the age of 54 I have decided that my legs are one of the few assets that I have and that I could make a bit more of them in this current economic downturn. Nothing too dramatic you understand, just a little shorter than the mid-calf I had taken to wearing as I turned 50. So I try not to automatically go for the trousers or long skirt in my wardrobe when dressing for work - and hope that I can get through the winter without chilblains!

And finally, having just got back from a walk with my lovely business mentor, I have been pondering on what the Oracle at Delphi might say regarding the signs for the coming year. And do you know - I have not got the faintest idea! Hope it a positive one for you, whatever happens.

Remembrance of Things Past

2008-11-10T11:31:00.004Z

So it's that time of year again when we look back and remember those who gave so much to enable us to be where we are today. As I watched the Memorial Service yesterday, I had a vivid flashback to my days as a child when Dad used to make us watch the same service. On a black and white TV, I recollect grainy images of old men and women walking solemnly past the Cenotaph, and Dad telling me that I had to be very grateful because they had been through so much to give us freedom... and I didn't really know what he meant by freedom, just knew it must be important.

Dad was in the Navy at the end of WW2 and spoke, with great warmth, of the comradeship and spirit that was so much a part of that time. My brother was in the RAF and posted to Ireland and he also refers to the sense of working together and the knowledge that life was precious - to all involved.

And another memory came back, of a man called Alan, who ran the sweetshop in Southport near my Grandma's. His face was dreadfully scarred from burns he had suffered in a fighter plane crash in WW2. We kids were scared of him because he looked so different - and yet he was such a kind man and it must have been very difficult for him to be always having people shy away when they saw his injuries.

And somehow just remembering all this was sort of sad and yet reassuring. The past has a lot to share with us. In these days of fast food, instant gratification and the quick fix - it is worth remembering that some things are worth fighting for, take longer to achieve, but are so worth it all in the long run.

What is worth fighting for in your life?

George Bush and arguments!

2008-09-26T20:37:00.003+01:00

Do you have any idea of what most of the financial guys are talking about at the moment? If you do, please let me know. What I did understand was that at in the US last night these really important people in whose hands out future is supposed to be - had a big barney! Not sure how I am supposed to feel about the fact that these guys can't agree on what they are supposed to do to hep us out of this fiscal mess - but it was weirdly reassuring that even they have to resort to playground antics when under pressure.

All I know is that I am determined not to be swept away with too much rhetoric and financial doom and gloom. I am currently reading 'Nella Last's War' written by a Barrow housewife during the second world war. It puts so much into perspective.

We are not being bombed here in Cumbria and the local farmer's market still sells lots of great food to eat - and my son goes to school without fear of attack. So life seems pretty good to me and I hope it is OK with you too.

What do you need to remind yourself of to keep a sense of perspective? Hope you find something uplifting!!

Jelly Beans & perspective

2008-08-04T20:57:00.006+01:00

This week I have been arranging things in our new office at Clawthorpe Hall in Cumbria. It is great fun, a bit like playing house, as a client said today. This has included two chairs belonging to my grandmother, a Jelly Bean dispenser, a peace lily (good Feng Shui), lots of compasses which are the Chartwell symbol and some lovely plants outside the window to hide the rather ugly looking fencing and brighten up our outlook.

I don't want to work in the usual office environment which seems rather uncreative and uninspiring. I believe that your workplace can reflect your personality and the ideal that you aspire to in your working life. It is important that my clients feel comfortable when they are having their coaching and that our team is in an inspiring and uplifting place during our working week.

So, the question to you is - what can you do to brighten up your working environment and make it more relaxing/uplifting/comfortable/welcoming or whatever ambiance you want to create?

Falling down ...

2008-07-01T13:39:00.004+01:00

Time seems to be speeding up just now and there are not enough hours in the day to get all done that is clamouring for attention. But goodthings are happening and I must keep reminding myself that it is what I asked for some time ago. Work is keeping me fully occupied and home life is busy too. And one of the reasons this has happened is that I fell down - twice, literally, and the metaphorical impact is with me now. As are the bruises!

Just over a week ago I was running downstairs, late for an appointment when I tripped and fell down six stairs. I lay in a heap not wanting to get up, and feeling overwhelmed. I had to give myself a good talking to about not rushing so much and why was I rushing anyway? And an image came into my head of when I worked in Hong Kong, in the busy corporate maelstrom that substitutes for life over there. And I realised that I had to slow down, that I was losing touch with what was important to me.

I had to take a long, hard look at reality and face a few home truths that I didn't want to see. I decided I needed to step back a bit and get that overview that I had lost being caught up in the detail. So I put in place some strategies and emergency measures and other such sensible things to enable us to continue and thought all was OK

Then a few days ago I fell over again (and no wine involved in either case!) and I realised I had simply replaced one set of 'shoulds' for another.... and now I really am taking time out and stepping back - so that I don't fall over.

... and so the question today is - what do you need to step back from, to stop you from falling over?

What a circus!

2008-06-19T23:27:00.005+01:00

Well, it's been a real merry-go-round of a time since I last wrote. I have moved into a new office, got a new website, had a great time with old friends from Greece and, maybe most importantly, my son has been to his new secondary school for the first time to see his new classmates and meet his new teacher. All big stuff and I am feeling rather discombobulated by it all!

The new office is a big cause for celebration cos it is in the place I had hoped to go to a year ago but life intervened and now it is really happening, Have you ever had that feeling that life has suddenly moved into another zone - one that you had some choice over but that you had not really any idea where it might take you? That's how it is now ... Great to somewhere new and special and I feel sure it is the beginning of something good and fun but am not quite sure what yet!

The website is still very much a work in progress and really not quite ready for a viewing public - but it is 'live', full of errors and proving the benefit of fallibility as a core value as I need to work lots on it and I can't quite work out how to edit it yet and my designer is on holiday and ...aaaaargh!!! But my need for control and perfection is being challenged and I must just go with the flow til it all comes right.

My son is very happy with his great school and at 11years of age it all before him. And that makes me happier than anything.

At some point I am going to start a new Blog cos I now focus on Leadership so this may be one of the last posts I do on this Lifecoach musings theme, but it won't change too much. Til then - a question for you. What in your life do you really want to do? When are you going to do it? What's stopping you? Don't let that stop you! JDI! Just Do It!

Podcasting advice?

2008-04-11T14:18:00.006+01:00

I am in the process of getting a new website designed and facing all the usual angst of what to put on it, how to say it and what I want it to do. A lovely guy called Gavin is doing all the difficult techy stuff and we have big ideas for the future ... but it is the present that is taxing me just now!

We want to include a regular podcast but are not sure how to go about it and whether it is a good idea. I found this great blog www.pbs.org/mediashift/2007/12/post_3.html which seems to sum up the problems facing Podcasters (image from this blog), but if anyone can share their experience of podcasting especially anyone in training or coaching I would really appreciate it. Please email me via the link on the right.

In the meantime, we will persevere and hope that one day in the not too distant future I will be announcing the new website in this very Blog...

Spring bulbs

2008-02-23T11:25:00.007Z

It's a rather grey, wet and gloomy Saturday morning and the frosty, sunny days of the past couple of weeks are away, leaving a really nice memory of walking in the country wrapped up in scarf, woolly pully and gloves, scraping frost off the windscreen first thing in the morning and the skimpy silhouettes of bare branches outlined against pastel skies.

Suddenly the garden is starting to show real signs of spring growth. Last year I planted loads of bulbs and here they are, peering through the ground, snowdrops and crocuses already showing their delicate little heads, tiny daffs braving the frost and the climbing hydrangea budding wondrously. I am a bit concerned about the glorious camellia bush, which has hundreds of fabulous pink buds ready to come out. The frost may have damaged them, which would be a real shame, as they give a lovely show each March and really cheer up the garden - and me!

February is almost over and we are no doubt in for some more bad weather before March is out - The March wind doth blow and we shall have snow. However, there will also be some lovely days. Make the most of them and always remember that nothing lasts forever- good or bad... And on that profound and philosophical note, I shall end till the next time!

Endings & Beginnings

2008-02-05T19:52:00.000Z

This image was chosen by A. when I gave him the name of this week's blog. He is into skateboarding and this has some connection with that. There is a tenuous link here as he broke his wrist skateboarding when we were down in Poole last October and we were considering moving there. And last week we decided to not to move there.... for various reasons but all the right ones - I hope!

So that is the end of a dream that has kept me going for some time, and which allowed me to dream big and consider things that I have not thought of at before. But I am a great believer in following your heart and also making the best of things and my heart is telling me that we should stay here - and pursue the dream here in the North West.

So now I am looking at the new opportunities available and the new beginnings that can be made in a place that, until recently, I had seriously considered leaving. And do you know, now that I am looking at things from a different angle, there are more positives than I had seen before, and I am even starting to get excited about life here.

So, my question today is - what ending might you need to face before you can really see the wonder of the new beginnings?

And Happy Valentine's Day if I don't get chance to write again before the 14th February. Did you notice the lovely pink heart in the image above? Lots of love - Zoe

New Year Review

2008-01-06T22:19:00.000Z

Happy New Year - I really hope it is good one for you and that it brings contentment and fulfilment.

This photo is of the dolphins that A and I swam with almost a year ago and represents the realisation of a long-held dream to visit New Zealand and travel around that lovely country. Swimming with dolphins is something I have wanted to do for years and it was truly memorable. Sometimes it is important to revisit goals and dreams we set in the past and recognise that we can achieve them. It is so easy to just forge ahead and not look back to see just what we have achieved.

So I guess my message this time is to take some time out, look at what you have achieved and celebrate that - before charging ahead to set new dreams and goals. And if you have not achieved something you have set out yet, maybe just think about what you have learnt from simply believing that you could possibly achieve something.

Let go of your fears and embrace your dreams - and if you don't get there, at least you tried.

Time flies ...

2007-12-10T17:31:00.000Z

And so the run up to Christmas starts. And doesn't it just seem to get faster and faster each year? One minute we are in November and it all seems far off - then suddenly it's only two weeks away and there are cards to write, presents to wrap, trees to dress and halls to be decked with boughs of holly - tra la la la laaa.

Well, I love it all, even when it gets frenetic and rather stressy. I love the bright lights, the tinsel, the cheesy songs (tho not until 1st December has passed), the crowds, the hustle, the bustle and the cheer. And I also enjoy the Carol concert to remind me what it is really all about and the gift-giving to show love and affection, and reading my son the Christmas story to help him see that it all has a reason, even if we tend to lose it somewhat in the razzmatazz.

However, I know lots of people really don't like this time of year and it can certainly exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness. My Mum never liked Christmas, possibly something to do with Dad leaving home on Boxing Day for another woman, and my oldest brother has never enjoyed the 'fakeness' and enforced jollity, not helped by his having a birthday on New Year's Day, when everyone is too hungover or partied out to want to know.

Whatever you are feeling coming up to this unavoidable 'festivity', irrespective of religion or belief, I hope you find some thing to enjoy about it all, if only the fact that you must be doing OK in one way shape or form if you are reading this! I am off to clear up the pine needles which are already starting to cascade over the carpet - oh joy!

Sleepless in New Hall

2007-11-13T05:01:00.000Z

It's 5am and I can't sleep. Woke up at 3am and spent ages just lying in bed with vague thoughts turning over in my head until they started to become worries and I knew I had to write.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and just know that you are not going to be able to get back to sleep? And then start to think about 'stuff' and then it gets worse and you are tired and you know that you are going to feel lousy in the morning and the more you try to go back to sleep the worse it becomes? And maybe 'accidentally' wake up the other person next to you so you can offload it onto them? Or toss and turn until you are quite exhausted with it all?

Well, that's how it is just now and I have found in the past that writing helps, so I usually have my journal by the bed and when I jot down what is on my mind it seems to get it back in perspective. Only now, I am staying in a beautiful old hotel in Sutton Coldfield and there is no one to wake up and my journal is miles away....

So here I am , writing some 'stuff' and hoping it will clear my head enough to get back to sleep for an hour before I have to get up and prepare for the first day of a rather demanding Leadership programme. And what is on my mind is the fact that I am contemplating a major change in my life which will affect everyone around me, and I am not totally sure it is the right thing to do, but I know I have to explore it fully until the final decision is made one way or the other.

In the Harry Potter books, Dumbledore has a Penseive, a bowl into which he magically puts his thoughts to enable him to think more clearly and get some peace. I bet he doesn't have people saying - 'Oh he thinks too much', cos maybe that's OK for magicians, but for us lesser mortals it is a real pain, sometimes, thinking too much, and I wish I could stop it at times, but all I can do is manage it, and this is the result today.

So, I will try to get a bit of sleep (and will probably go into one of those deep sleeps you get before dawn, and feel really groggy!) now that I have offloaded into my interactive Penseive, and shared it with you. This hotel is absolutely gorgeous (800yr old moated manor house - with cosy beds that encourage sleep!) so I will prepare to enjoy a few days' work in these wonderful surroundings.

Hoping you are getting enough sleep and if not, that you find your own Penseive to help you rest ...

The tyranny of the pc!

2007-10-18T11:22:00.000+01:00

Just a quickie cos I have not been on for a while and am aware that I started to feel I OUGHT to be writing my Blog, rather than wanting to. Life has speeded up rather a lot recently and I am finding that I really resent the way I am allowing my pc to rule my day. From first thing when I check my emails, to last thing at night, when I check again I seem to spend ages in front of this machine. How did something which was supposed to free us up from some hard graft (and create a paperless office - ha!) become such a hard taskmaster?

Anyway, the upshot is, that after a lovely few days RnR in Menorca with Alex, staying with my brother, I have decided to do far less, if I can, at the pc, and ask people to phone me if it is important as I am not going to check things so often or reply so quickly. And I am trying to cut down the time in front of the screen to help my poor shoulder repair itself as it has got pain from sitting too long in front of the screen. Let's see what happens!

And if anyone has any suggestions for how to manage emails better so let me know....

Releasing the Creative force?

2007-09-09T08:58:00.000+01:00

Good morning. It's a glorious day here in Nth Lancashire and I hope it is with you too. We are finally getting the summer we were promised back in March - and very welcome it is too. As part of my recuperation after the op I am able to sit out in the garden soaking up the rays and relaxing. And how strange that is. It is not something I have been able to do easily and yet I love it! And that got me thinking about lots of other things that we love doing - and yet don't do nearly enough. Things like having meals out, friends over for dinner, sailing, walking, travel, going to the theatre - oh and so many other things.

However, enforced rest gives us time to reflect and it can be a real plus too. An astrologer who I interviewed for the research on Inspirational Leadership asked what energy this op was connected to. And I think it is related to the release of some pent up creative force that has been trying to get out for some time but which I was blocking. Not sure where that will take me but I sense it will be a very positive momentum.

One thing that I am doing is reconsidering in more detail the way I live and work - a theme that has been raising its head since I started this Blog over a year ago. It has been an interesting and fruitful period in many ways and there are more changes to come. And if you are having a time when you can't do what you would normally be doing, due to illness or other extraneous circumstances, what energy is it connecting you to and what might be the benefits for you and others around you?

Operation Surprise

2007-08-25T18:18:00.000+01:00

Well, life is full of surprises isn't it - and I certainly got one recently. Coming back from a lovely few days camping in Abersoch (a Mums & Sons break with great weather and good company) I experienced intense pain and ended up going straight to Lancaster Royal Infirmary, where 3 days later, I had a hysterectomy.

I am now at home, still in a bit of a state of shock, mobility slowed down and not able to drive for another few weeks. What has overwhelmed me has been the love and support from friends and family both near and far. As someone who finds it rather difficult to ask for help, this time has been a wonderful reminder of what it is to have such a great network around me. From the visitors in hospital who brought fruit, flowers, gossipy mags, pretty nighties and tasty delights, to the myriad offers of help with shopping, housework, general cheering up and regular phone calls, everyone has been brilliant.

My son, A, has been really considerate, making his own breakfast, bringing me meals in bed when I am feeling tired and even washing up and hoovering - not things he has done too often in his 10yrs! I think he was fairly shaken by his Mum being in hospital but fortunately his Dad took him on holiday straight after the op so he has had some distractions.

So now all I have to do is take it easy, read lots, try not to fret about the lack of income and unpaid bills and maybe use this time to simply enjoy 'being' not doing. I chose this picture cos it's called 'New Dawn, Lake Kivu, Rwanda' and it feels somehow like a new dawn, a new opportunity to get better, make the most of a clean bill of health and plan how to have some more fun in life. Starting now, with a DVD fest of all the episodes of Sex in the City, which a good mate brought round to keep me going over the next few weeks! I'll keep you posted ...

Global warming - does it mean lots of rain?

2007-07-25T21:15:00.000+01:00

Summer - ha! If you live in England then you may well be wondering where that glorious summer we were promised in April, has gone... Maybe on its hols or hiding cos it doesn't want to upset us after all its bad publicity. For those of you who are hankering after some glorious summer sun - here are some very pretty sun flowers, doing what sun flowers do...

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

Whatever you have planned for the next few weeks, I do hope the sun will shine on you - it cheers things up, makes us feel generally better and gives some of us who otherwise look far too pale and uninteresting, a slight glow of colour that cheers the spirit.

Kalo Kalokeiri - Happy Summer as they say in Greece (apologies for dodgy spelling!)

Summer days!

2007-07-25T21:02:00.000+01:00

Hi - how are you and how are you doing with this summer? If you are here in England then you may well be having to cope with one of the wettest and gloomiest summers in many a long day. Here is a nice picture of sun flowers doing what sun flowers do

The sunflower is so named because of the way in which it turns its head from east to west to follow the sun.

We all need a bit of sunshine to brighten our days - and these days we are made to feel guilty sometimes becasue of the 'damage' sun can do. Well, I spent 8 yrs of my life living in countries where the sun ruled and I can say that, tho my skin may be crinkled from over- exposure, I really enjoyed the benefits it gave, including that wonderful feeling of well-being we get from just being around it.

Having lived in Greece for 4 yrs and seen how the Greeks loved the sun, I agree with what one philosopher said - 'Moderation in all things' but you do need at least a bit of it to be able to be moderate.

So, I hope you can find a bit of your own sunshine somewhere this month and if you can't find it literally then hopefully you can get some metaphorically, if only from this picture!

Gawthorpe Hall

2007-07-08T19:23:00.000+01:00

This time I have not really got any idea what the blog is about - just thought I would put one up and see where it goes. I have had a fairly low key weekend with a nasty cold to keep me company. Had to cancel friends coming over for the weekend and my son is with his Dad, so went thru the usual downer when I am on my own, feeling sorry for myself.

Well, got bored with that and decided to go out this afternoon as I was feeling a lot better. Drove over to Burnley and visited a National Trust house, Gawthorpe Hall. It is full of the most amazing embroideries from around the world, including China, Afghanistan, Egypt, Japan, South Sea Islands and the UK. What really took my eye was the display of miniature embroidery - tiny little pieces, mostly no more that an inch square, of the most exquisite work. There were two minute 'Elizabethan Gauntlets' that would have fitted A's hamster, with delicate stitching only really visible with the magnifying glass provided.

And it was just so lovely to see work that had taken those who produced it, both men and women in the past 50 yrs, such time and effort, simply for the sheer beauty of it. And when I got back home, after driving through rain, hail and brilliant sunshine, I felt heaps better and quite relaxed. I had had a much needed rest, got over the doldrums and enjoyed the afternoon a lot.

Hope it was a good weekend for you and that the summer brings some moments of exquisite beauty for you too!

Karma - and gifts

2007-06-23T13:24:00.000+01:00

I spent part of yesterday interviewing a very interesting person who shared his thoughts on what Inspiration means to him. Whilst he was talking there was a very impressive thunderstorm going on outside. At one point, as he was talking about Karma and its meaning to him, there was huge thunderclap - it seemed to underline the point about who is given what and what we do with it. Very dramatic!

And that set me thinking about what gifts we take for granted and how sometimes we don't use the gifts we have but hanker after having what we are not given... I used to wish I could sing and play an instrument, or paint or do any of those other creative things that I envied others for. Then one day, someone said to me, 'But you can write ...' and I sort of dismissed it cos that is what I do anyway, and he said, 'I wish I could write ...' and it hit me. I had a gift but I wasn't appreciating it. And that's not really very considerate to the giver, is it?!

So my musing for today is around what gifts might we ignore that lie unappreciated and unused, and how might life be when we pick up that gift, look at it and maybe - why not - start to use it?

Oh, and the photo is of the view from our room in Monemvassia, in the Peloponnese, where I went last year - cos Greece does and, I hope always will, inspire me in so many ways.

Here comes the rain again ...

2007-06-13T07:18:00.000+01:00

Isn't it amazing how much the weather can change the way we feel about things? For the past couple of days it has been wet, stormy and grey, and the uplifting feeling that the previous two weeks of sunny, hot weather brought, seems a distant memory. On those days we got up early, had breakfast in the garden and enjoyed a lovely BBQ with friends. But it did make A. rather cranky when he couldn't sleep properly and I didn't really want to do much work!

Now, it is cooler, I feel less happy-go-lucky but probably more motivated. When I lived in Greece, life seemed to drift along rather in haze of quite hard work in the morning and early eve, long afternoon siestas and lovely lengthy dinners in outdoor tavernas. Didn't have much oomph to achieve anything in particular, but life felt good. Hong Kong was worse; dreadful climate... either terribly hot and humid - totally enervating, with blasts of ice-cold aircon to keep you awake, or gloomy, foggy wet days that seemed to last forever. Very driven to achieve but quality of life seemed less.

I must admit I really enjoy the diversity of our weather (and love the benefits of global warming up here in the NW!). Maybe it is the very uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, combined with the changing energy levels that actually encourages me to either work or relax... or perhaps I just like to have something else to blame when I am feeling lazy!

Anyway, whatever the weather - stay cool and enjoy it!

PS. Quick update - have had to put the office on hold, due to personal reasons (hmm, cryptic yes but can't reveal EVERYTHING here!), some seedlings have survived the hot weather and lack of water, and A. got a cute hamster called Chester for his 10th birthday.

Rubbish rant!

2007-05-12T17:35:00.000+01:00

It's Saturday afternoon and I am exhausted after a de-cluttering session , throwing out loads of old papers, mags, rubbish and the general mess that has accumulated on just about every surface in my house. I should feel better, but it has made me feel mad - so much unsolicited stuff that comes into our lives every day. Just going thru the unwanted mail, emails and other junk can take ages. So I have promised myself to keep it a bit better under control and not let myself disappear under a deluge of stuff. The recycling bin is now full - and that's another thing... it takes much longer to clear our now cos we have to worry about what is to be recycled, which box to put it in and when to leave it out for the occasional bin collection.

OK, enough of the complaints! I chose this pic of A. Zorbing downhill (in NZ) in a big plastic ball filled with water, to illustrate how life can be scary and fun at the same time. He said this was the best bit of his visit. When I asked him if he was scared, he said, 'Oh, yes, but that was part of the fun!' And it is a fine line between things being scary but fun, and tipping over into real fear. I think it is to do with control. Although he was rolling down a hill he was in control of choosing to go in it and there was a path to follow. That can help to manage the fear.

Just at the moment, I am facing the fear of taking on something that I have not done before, ie an office, with no guarantee that it will turn out OK. But I guess I have to ensure that I am in control of some of the elements of this and minimise the risks, before rolling off downhill. So, if you are facing some scary choices just now, look at how you can control some of it - and then let go and enjoy the ride!

PS. Some of the the seedlings are doing really well, and others seem to be very reluctant to show their leaves. Today I have taken them out of their greenhouse - maybe they need more air?

Seedlings

2007-05-02T17:43:00.000+01:00

Well, I don't know what it is like with you but I do hope it's glorious - it is here! We are having the most amazing weather and as I live in Nth Lancashire, near the Lake District, we are not too used to hot, sunny weather, esp at this time of year...

Anyway, last week A. and I went to the garden centre in Ambleside. We spent a merry hour or two browsing amongst the luxuriant spring foliage, macho looking BBQ equipment, space-age garden furniture and endless cards and dubious looking gifts. We finally made our purchases; I got a pretty weeping cherry for the front garden and A. got a spiky little cactus in a monkey-shaped pot (hmm) and a bag of vegetable seeds.

So now we are very excited - well, OK, I am, a bit... cos we are going to plant them this evening. Last year we had a disaster with one of those green metal plastic covered greenhouse things, which fell over in the first breeze, spilling our seeds all over the garden. We then had carrots and lettuces popping up in the most unexpected places! This year I have got a nice little wooden heavy plant house to get them going and we are hoping for a bit more success.

And the bit that excites me is the simple pleasure of planing teeny tiny seeds and then having some lovely fresh veg a few months later. Just hope the wind doesn't get too strong.... I hope that any seeds you plant now, or have planted earlier, real or metaphorical, give you a really great crop. And remember - if you don't plant anything, you'll not get anything!

On the Move ...

2007-04-26T14:29:00.000+01:00

Well, life seems to be suddenly on the move again! I am currently looking at getting a new office, having been working from home for many years . One of the major changes since returning from New Zealand, has been the realisation that I do want to be where I currently am - and that I am not going to focus on the things that aren't working, but concentrate on developing the things that are.

This probably doesn't sound very radical but the past year or two have been spent feeling restless and unsure about whether to move, and also exactly what work I want to be doing. I am now sure that I am going to stay here, grow my Coaching practice and inspire others to develop their own unique style of living and working. So, one of the my goals is to get a nice new office to work from with a lovely ambiance, delightful surroundings and great people to work with.

This photo was taken by a photographer colleague, Lucy Barden, and I am delighted with the shot showing my brand new banner. I am using it at The Chartwell Club, which takes place every 2nd Wednesday of the month (see my website for more info) which is a forum to share experience, learn some personal development skills and have help in problem solving.

So, a final thought to ponder on as you enjoy whatever the end of April brings - what move could bring you closer to achieving your goals or achieving your dreams? Just something small maybe - a shift in perception, a conversation with someone, stopping doing something you know is no good for you, a starting something new ... Remember - Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change!

Change of mind?

2007-04-14T16:06:00.000+01:00

How are you today? ........... Are you feeling happy, sad, exhausted, exhilarated, motivated, ennervated, just OK....? That first question is often asked as a conversation opener, a polite enquiry and we don't usually expect any depth of answer. And yet, we all feel a vast range of emotions a lot of the time, and they can change from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day, with sometimes mind-boggling rapidity. And how often are we actually able to tell someone really how we feel and also know that they are really interested in our reply?

I've been pondering that today as I have gone through such a range of feelings over the past few hours, and the title of this Blog is taken as a result of a change of mind about the Blog. I had planned to write about the aftermath of coming back home from the New Zealand trip, and how it had thrown up more questions than I had expected. But I decided to just trust my intuition that exploring current feelings was the topic for today.

And so, I return to the original question... How are you today? No, really, how are you? Just ponder that one... and see what comes up for you. And what do those feelings tell you? And if you could change anything about how you feel today what would that be? And what could you do to encourage that change to become a real and lasting one?

Well, those are the thoughts for today. Happy musings!

New Zealand

2007-02-17T22:51:00.000Z

This posting comes to you from sunny Wellington, New Zealand, in the middle of February, part way through a fantastic trip-of-a-lifetime with my son. We have spent two weeks in the North Island, being shown the sights by my good friend, Judi, and also a few days in Dubai, a quite unbelievable place. What struck me very much was the contrast between the two places - one almost totally man-made, and the other created by powerful forces of nature. We both thoroughly enjoyed Dubai and had great fun there, riding camels, doing a 4x4 desert safari and A. snow skiing in a shopping mall, but ....

it is the sheer awe-inspiring natural beauty of NZ that has really touched me. The variety of landscapes, colours, sounds and scents is so lovely. The people are really friendly and everywhere we have been so far there has been a welcome and a warmth that makes this place hard to beat.

And so what this has made me think about is the value of the natural things in life and how wonderful they are. A fern unfolding, a friendly smile or a cloud drifting across an azure sky, can be worth so much more than many material things.

Well, I hope to put up another posting from the Southern Hemisphere before we leave. In the meantime, I do hope your February is going well, wherever you are!

Can You See?

2007-01-27T09:56:00.000Z

Hello. How are you today? How is 2007 going? I do hope things are going well and that this year proves to be your best yet.

This morning I was listening to the radio and heard a lovely piece about a lady who regained her sight after being blind, (or seriously sight impaired, if that is more pc!). She had an operation and as she was coming round, not knowing if the op had been successful, she heard many voices saying 'Can you see? Can you see?' She described the 'electric shock of seeing' as she opened her eyes. Then she went on to describe the almost indescribable delight she takes daily in her sight, the wonder of the world around her, the bad as well as the good, and the beauty of the sunset. She said that regaining her sight was like winning the lottery.

And all this struck a chord with me. How we so often take so much for granted, always trying to find more from life, striving for what is almost in sight but not quite, and that we don't often take time to just truly 'see' what is all around us. We are given wonderful gifts on a regular basis and yet sometimes we just can't see them. So the question for now is, 'Can you see?' Really see? See what is in front of you? See the simple things in life which you sometimes take for granted?

I am off on an Awfully Big Adventure shortly with my son and am sooooo looking forward to it! All this philosophising and questioning of life has given me a huge thirst to explore more of what life has to offer. I will be blogging along the way and hope to stay in touch. I have no idea quite what to expect but I am going with eyes wide open and a real appreciation of the great opportunity this is. In the meantime, enjoy yourself whenever and wherever you can!

Time for a Change?

2007-01-15T10:08:00.000Z

Happy New Year. How's it going for you so far?

We had a lovely Christmas and New Year. A. was in plaster after falling off his dad's back and breaking his arm, and enjoyed the attention that gave him! He got loads of presents and satisfied his love of Green Day with lots of paraphernalia and CDs. His uncle was over from Spain so that made it extra special. I had good fun over New Year, with the Zest group at a Youth Hostel at Boggle Hole, right on the beach near Robin Hood's Bay. I was even persuaded to take part in a karaoke Z factor competition, after a lot of booze at the beach party, and dressed as Adam Ant for the NY Party. All things that a year ago I would not have even considered... And those who know me know how bad my singing is and my views on karaoke!

A sad time following the New Year; J's Mum, A's only grandparent, died on January 2nd. She was a very special lady, a Highland Scot with 9 children who all loved her and she will be much missed.

So, we are only a couple of weeks into 2007 and already we have had a mix of experiences and emotions. It is early days to see if this year will be better, worse, more fun, less stressful or simply different to last year. That final point is guaranteed. Whatever the previous year brought you, you know things WILL be different this year. Some of the differences will be positive, some negative, some out of your control, and some within your control.

And it is the latter area that interests me at this time of year. We all talk blithely about making New Year resolutions, some adamant they will lose weight, give up smoking, cut down on the booze, etc... others adamant they won't make any resolutions cos they are a waste of time. The thing is, we can make a difference to our experience of this year, by simply choosing some areas we want to change, identifying what that change looks like and then exploring the options we have for getting there. The difficult bit is sticking to this, or flexing when other things step in.

I have found that getting other people to help me to achieve change is really helpful, both in practical terms and as a general motivator. As a coach, of course I think that coaching can be a great way to get support for change, but there are many other things you can do too. I have told my best friend that I want to have more fun this year, and she has promised faithfully to help me achieve that! On a really practical level, I now have a great PA to help develop my business, and also support me in my vision for the future. We are currently setting up The Chartwell Club, which aims to provide group coaching and support for Change and give people an opportunity to share experiences and ideas on a regular basis. Oh, yes, and be fun too! If you have any suggestions for how we can do that, do let me know.

Have a think about the ways you can get support to ensure that the changes you make this year are ones that you are in control of and ones that will make you happier and more fulfilled.

Christmas Abundance

2006-12-23T21:32:00.000Z

At this time of festive preparation and Christmas feasting, it can be easy to get pulled in to the idea that we have to be happy and upbeat and if we are not, then there is something wrong. Well, it is just a date in the calendar and our lives don't stop being stressful, challenging or difficult just because it is the 25th December. However, it can be a time to step out of things we are going through, and simply give thanks for what is good, whatever that may be.

Your life may well be full of abundance, or it could be hard to see a positive sign, but I do hope you can find time to celebrate what you feel is important to you at this Christmas time. May an abundance of Christmas cheer find its way to you this week wherever you are, whatever you believe in and however you choose to spend this time.

The Facts of Life

2006-12-14T06:47:00.000Z

Last night, A. came downstairs because he couldn't get to sleep. This is a fairly common occurrence at the moment, especially with his broken arm. We talked about what was bothering him, and eventually he said how much he wished he had a brother or sister living with us, so then he would not be so scared at night. This is something that many 'only' children must feel (he has two half brothers much older who he doesn't see often), and I felt so very sorry for him.

We talked about this and then things moved on to where babies come from. (I have been wondering when/if he would ask about this sometime!) He sort of knew already, but wanted to be sure. I won't go into our conversation as it was between us, but he did ask, with a certain amount of disbelief, 'Did you and Daddy have to do that to get me?'

However, the main thing about that conversation which has stayed with me, was his struggle with the idea that there are certain things in life that we just can't have, however much we would like them. We talked about his love to have a sibling and how that couldn't happen now, and he then said, 'Well, I suppose we just have to be happy with how things are. and not wish for things we know we can't have' And it was so moving, knowing how much it meant for him to say that.

The facts of life seem so much more complex than simple biology... My question today is, 'What facts of life are you finding difficult to deal with at the moment, and what can you focus on to make things a bit easier NOW?'

Birthday Bash!

2006-12-02T18:19:00.000Z

A. broke his arm on Tuesday night. He had been staying with his Dad and leapt at him across the bed at bedtime, as 9yr olds do, missed, put out his arm to break his fall and broke his arm instead. His Dad took him to Kendal Hospital where they X-rayed it, put a temporary splint on and sent him to Lancaster Hospital in the middle of the night, for an op to set it the next morning. He is doing OK, managing with this really heavy plaster on his arm, and loads of medicine to ease the pain.

I had been working away for almost 2 weeks with only a day or so back home, when it happened. I won't bore you with the details of how I found out but suffice to say, it highlighted how differently two loving parents can view the same incident! Having ensured that my business colleague would be OK with my leaving the training course, I returned home on Wednesday evening to see my poor lad all pale and bravely clasping his newly plastered arm before him. He had a very painful night but is getting better by the day. Apparently it is a really bad break and he will have to have the plaster for about 6 weeks and it could take up to a year to heal properly... so a less than active Christmas for him. He keeps saying he wished he had a time machine to take him back to before he leapt across the bed!

The day he did it was his Dad's birthday, and Thursday was mine, so both of us were suitably distracted and not bothered about celebrating. (I usually tell all and sundry as I love celebrations...!) However, the upside was that we were together for the day and had lots of calls and relatives round to see how he was doing and it was all quite convivial in spite of the circumstances.

And today there is no question to muse over, just the thought that our loved ones are the most important things in life and it is so awful when we see them suffering and can do little to help and that time spent with them is so precious.

Remembrance

2006-11-12T11:55:00.000Z

On this Remembrance Sunday we often look back to family times and think about those who are no longer here. As I sat watching the ceremony I thought of my parents and how we always had to be quiet during the 2 minute silence and when I was little I didn't know why, except it was something to do with the war and dead people. And my Grandpa playing the cornet at a Remembrance service and being a bit embarrassed somehow but also moved to tears and not knowing why. And Helen, who died so recently and played a significant role as WREN in WWII.

Today I sat there with so many memories and my son jumping around pretending to play the bagpipes as the Scots played their lament for the dead. And it seemed so poignant and life goes on and we pass on the traditions and somehow it makes a bit of sense of this crazy world.

So today there is no question, just this poem and an image that means different things to each one of us...

In Flanders Field
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row by row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard among the guns below.
By John Macrae

Power Play

2006-11-07T20:52:00.000Z

In keeping with my revamped web site and new colour scheme I have changed the blog look. Let me know what you think!

This is one of my favourite photos of Autumn, taken last year on a beautiful November day down at Bowness, with the yachts on Windermere waiting like swans for a little breeze to set off across the lake.

On Saturday I went for a 'gentle walk' along the river Lune with the Zest group. 'Gentle' it may have been but more than 6 hours later I returned home quite exhausted after the stroll got rather bogged down in a field of cows, who took a rather more than bovine interest in us! Still, I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt quite entitled to the pizza and red wine I then downed in the evening...

For those of you who may be still wondering about the visit to the astrologer, Lyn Birkbeck, here is a brief summary of what is significant to me now.

Lyn was very professional and the reading was both detailed and personal. Without going into detail, the main messages were that I had a 'challenging ' profile and needed to acknowledge that Power is a key issue for me. And that I had to acknowledge whatever it is that is my 'personal power' and claim it, if I am to become more at ease with myself and fulfil the potential that is written in the stars... Well, I have missed out a lot of stuff and put my own spin on it, but it struck a chord, because I have been grappling with this 'personal power' issue for some time.

Just what is that makes us feel powerful - and good? You know that feeling when everything is going right and you are on a roll? Do you ever suddenly stop and think 'Wait a minute, I shouldn't be feeling/acting/behaving/ like this'? Well, what do you do about it? There are lots of issues around power, and I don't think it is a gender thing. Maybe it is something to do with the way we are brought up, or maybe it is cultural, or ...well, I don't know. But I do know that when we are feeling good about ourselves, our talents and our abilities we become greater and more able to relate, help and generally communicate with other people.

Today's question is - In what area of your life are you shielding your power and not letting it shine through? What can you do to release it so that you can become more of the person you really are and fulfil your true potential?

2 Week Challenge review - better late than never!

2006-10-28T05:59:00.000+01:00

It's two weeks since the last posting and it seems a lifetime! I have had a very busy time and am still adjusting to some major shifts in thinking and being. The visit to the astrologer was key to this, in a way I didn't expect. I went to the Mind Body Spirit event in Manchester last week and heard Gill Edwards talk on Wild Love and met lots of interesting people. I am clearer about the Coaching work and my passion for it, and getting out with friends and colleagues is helping to restore much needed balance and stability.

Here is a review of the goals set 3 weeks ago...

1. Get 2 more coaching clients - Yes, but only for 10mins each! CCNET had a stand at a Mind Body Spirit festival in Carlisle and we offered 'On the spot' coaching to give people an idea what it is about. I coached 3 people plus one of our group. I have talked to lots of people about coaching and this will bear fruit in future.

2. Distribute 50 cards about Tarot Life Coaching in local shops and appropriate venues - Yes, some in Betty & Babs and a couple of other shops and also to friends and at the Carlisle event.

3. Advertise for a PA to help me sort out my disorganised work place! - Yes! Through a local network I have met a lovely lady who is coming over on Monday and seems just exactly who I need to sort me out!

4. Update my ICF file on coaching clients for ACC accreditation - No, and I didn't try. Hopefully Chris will help with that.

5. Meet Tarot reader for some more help on the coaching ideas. - Yes, went round to a friend's house for a chat about it and also at two MBS events in Mchstr and Carlisle. I am sure I wnat to offerit as a Coaching tool rather than a divination thing. And the meeting with the astrologer was very illuminating re that ... more later!

6. Contact the person to whom I said I would write an on-line course on Change and Transition and say I won't be doing it (yet). - Yes, and she was fine about it.

7. Say 'No' to at least 5 things! - Probably -not sure, as I haven't counted but I am def saying 'No' to more things and it feels great!

8. Go on a Date.....No, and the dots seemed to indicate my lack of resolve. I did join another dating site and even got chatting to a couple of guys and did not follow it up. I am now sure that that route is not for me. I will meet someone and we will hit it off when the time is right. I had wondered if I was still scared of the idea of dating but I am pretty sure that it is just that other things need to be right, rather than simply saying 'I want to meet someone'. The truth is I want to meet a SPECIAL someone and that will happen when it happens. So a good bit of learning there.

9. Walk for 10mins every other day. - No, but I have done some exercise inclduing a lovely walk on the fells with my Aunt & Uncle, plus walking around the area I live, a long bike ride with A and friends, plus a rigorous Shiatsu session yesterday. I am feeling generally better and will start yoga again this week.

10. Do all of the above!!! - Almost! I truly had not realised how much I had done until I wrote this. And the interesting thing is that I had not kept track of the list once I wrote it.. In fact, I forgot it after a couple of days. The goals I set must have been ones I really wanted to achieve, well, most of them!, and I had also sent out the message to the universe. The one that I amost pleased with meeting Chris who will be a great support - and she recommended a cleaning lady too. So that, combined with a decluttering session with a very helpful coach who helped me to focus on gettng rid of 'stuff', should mean that my living environment will greatly improve.

How did you get on? Congratulate yourself on what you did achieve and have a look at what you didn't. You can learn a lot about yourself from thosethings. Did you REALLY WANT to do them or did you feel you OUGHT to do them? Life is full of OUGHTS and SHOULDS, and sometimes they don't really serve us. What are you currently doing that you feel you SHOULD be doing but would rather not? What do you WANT to do? Why not do it?

Update

2006-10-15T20:54:00.000+01:00

This pic has no reason to be here apart from the fact that I took it from the hotel terrace where I was staying recently. Tomorrow I am visiting a local astrologer who has written a number of books and who is going to do a full reading for me, and also maybe help mentor me re the Tarot Life Coaching. And I feel very wary and rather concerned, and yet I know I am being silly.... but I feel he may be able to see inside and I wonder what I am afraid he will see? And now I am writing this I think, well, what is there to be afraid of really? - I am OK and if there are dark bits then it is about time they see some light.

And now maybe the picture, which I chose at random from My Picture file, maybe has some relevance. It is rather dark and could do with a bit of sunlight to brighten up its features, and the bridge does open occasionally to let big ships thru and we all need to open up sometimes... and I am really conscious that this metaphor has done its job and must not be stretched any further!

So, what might need a bit of light shining on in your life. And if you are a bit concerned about that, what does that mean to you?

Oh, and I am doing OK on some of the goals and v badly on others. Will review next week!

2 Week challenge

2006-10-07T08:52:00.000+01:00

Good Morning.... it is a sunny day (so far!) and for some reason I have been at this machine for the best part of an hour and it is only just 9am. A is with his dad and the day, Saturday, is set aside to catch up on things. Best news this week is that I have booked to go to New Zealand, with A, early next year, for 5 weeks. I am so excited as it is a dream I have had for many years. More of that later.

A well known coach called David Wood recently sent out a message to take part in a 2 week challenge to achieve as much as you could, and post it on his blog, which I have done. So now I am posting it here with the challenge to you to do the same.

Here goes:

1. Get 2 more coaching clients

2. Distribute 50 cards about Tarot Life Coaching in local shops and appropriate venues

3. Advertise for a PA to help me sort out my disorganised work place!

4. Update my ICF file on coaching clients for ACC accreditation

5. Meet Tarot reader for some more help on the coaching ideas.

6. Contact the person to whom I said I would write an on-line course on Change and Transition and say I won't be doing it (yet).

7. Say 'No' to at least 5 things!

8. Go on a Date.....

9. Walk for 10mins every other day.

10. Do all of the above!!!

I will keep you posted on my progress. So, what could you achieve in 2 weeks if you put your mind to it? If you would like to post it here - great, or join David's list. Have a lovely weekend.

Connections

2006-10-01T19:16:00.000+01:00

On Friday I had the first session of the Tarot Life Coaching at Betty & Babs in Kendal. It seemed to go well and the client (sounds rather clinical - wonder what would sound better?) said she found it very helpful. The important thing about what I do is that the power lies with the other person and we both use the cards to get more clarity about a specific question. My role is to ask pertinent questions, challenge views and help the other person to understand their position better. The cards are a starting point.

To gain some inspiration just now, I shuffled the cards and drew this one. Key words include Connection, Truce and Attraction. It has various meanings for me, expecially re the connection with others and an attraction to this work I have started. The truce has come with my past and I feel at peace with its issues. There seem to be some great connections starting to happen in small but significant ways - time will tell where they are going. Unfortunately, there is no special guy to share any other sort of attraction with just now - but maybe he is just waiting for the right moment!

At present I am thinking about intuition and how it can help and hinder us. I use it a lot in my work but sometimes we can be unclear whether it is our intuition or our gremlins connecting with us. The gremlins tend to be negative and drain us, whereas our intuition ....what? In coaching I offer a possible 'intuitive' insight to a client as a possibility, not a direction. Sometimes I confuse intuition with wishful thinking... have you ever done that? It has got me into some intersting scrapes in the past!

So, the musings continue. I want to be able to help others to trust that inner wisdom which we all have, and be able to differentiate between that wisdom and the confusing messages we may also tap into that might not help us. What does your intuition tell you? Do you connect with it enough? How can you develop your inner wisdom to help you to find your own way through life's challenges and enjoy your life more?

Flight of the Phoenix!

2006-09-19T22:31:00.000+01:00

I couldn't resist the title of this posting! I have just had my first flight in a glider and absolutely loved it.

It was another Zest outing, this time just for me, as A is on holiday in menorca with his dad. I was really quite nervous beforehand, and even had a dream about it the nite before, where I nearly fell out of the plane. But it was really wonderful and I would love to do it again.

The first flight was to do aerobatics... we did loop the loop and some other fancy manoeuvres, before a very tight landing. The sensation of being upside down at speed was indescribable! Then it was off for a longer glide over a nearby hill, where I could look down on the hang gliders and enjoy the brilliant sensation of feeling as free as a bird. The pilot was great, very reassuring and patient, esp when I had a go with the controls, and set us off towards the ground at a rate of knots! I quickly decided to leave the plane in his capable hands and simply enjoy the ride.

The thing that struck me afterwards was how the fear of the flight very nearly made me not do it, and I could so easily have missed this wonderful time. Fear is a very natural emotion and it must not stop us from experiencing things, simply help us to check that we are not being totally foolish or taking unfeasible risks. If we can use it to have a check about risk when we want to try sthg different or change sthg, and then overcome it, we grow and move on.

So what do you fear? Is the fear a reasonable one or simply the result of your overactive imagination? Maybe others have put the fear into your mind. What does your inner voice tell you? What fear can you over come this week? To quote Susan Jeffers, is it time to Feel the Fear - and Do it Anyway?

Zest!

2006-09-10T21:00:00.000+01:00

Wow, what a great day out! My son and I have recently joined this activity club and we had a really fun day at a Leisure lake nearby, where A tried out waterskiing, canoeing, banana boat riding and Xstream - being towed behind a speed boat at full speed, on a giant inflatable platform.

As you may know if you have been reading this blog, part of the changes I am making to our lives, is to get more social life, and this club certainly has lots going on in the Lancashire area.... A great way to meet new people, share different activities and have some fun.. Can't be bad!

So, thought for today - what can you try this week that is different and fun and brings a smile to your face? The mind boggles - as they used to say!!!

Life and change

2006-09-05T20:40:00.000+01:00

A lot of my work is about helping people deal with change and today was no exception. I am currently working with about 30 people who are being made redundant from a local factory, most of whom have spent the majority of their working lives in this one job. Most of them have enjoyed their work and are rather fearful about what will happen next. The biggest concerns are around the unknown; questions like 'What will they want to know at the dole office?' (even after so many years of rebranding, the local Job centre is still known as the Dole Office to many, with all the accompanying stigma.) 'What can I do; all I have ever known is how to do X.' 'How will someone of my age ever get another job?'

My role is to do some practical stuff like writing a CV which represents in a positive light all the great things they have achieved in their working life, help them with Job Search, access local jobs and employers and do some training in Interview skills...but it is so much more. A lot of it is around building confidence and encouraging people to try something different with an open mind. After many years in this business, I know that many of them will get jobs that actually bring out other facets that they may never have been aware of, and give satisfaction in ways never dreamed. But it is a very scary time and my main job now is to help make the feared more acceptable and less challenging.

Change comes to us all in different guises and even when we apparently choose change, for instance, when we marry someone we dearly love, or move to a beautiful new home or have a much longed for baby, we are never really prepared for the impact of that change. We can search out many different ways to minimise the impact of change, but we can never truly escape its effects.

So my thoughts today are around acceptance of this phase of life and trying to help others to develop a positive outlook, whilst facing the realities of their situation. Something I too strive for and sometimes achieve!

In Memoriam

2006-09-04T10:58:00.000+01:00

The day after writing the last post, I went to Southport to do some training for a dental practice. Afterwards, I visited a dear relative, Helen, 92yrs old, who was in a home nearby. She had been very ill and when I arrived they said she had deteriorated and might only have a few days to live. My father's cousin, she had no siblings or children, and my brothers and I were her closest relatives. She was very weak, barely able to talk but knew I was there. Having called Graeme, my brother living in Menorca, I then spent the night nearby. Graeme flew back the next day to be with her.

For the next few days we travelled between home and Southport, spending as much time with Helen as possible. BM was taking LS camping so was able to look after him during this time. Helen died on Monday 21st August, very peacefully; we were with her to share her passing and she had a gentle going.

Helen was a very special lady, loved by many and we will miss her. She had a fantastic time in the WRNS during WWII and at her funeral there were 10 WRNS, all in their 80s and 90s, to say farewell, as well as many other friends, family and carers. She had married at 39 yrs old - Uncle Dick was a fighter pilot in Bomber Command and what you might call a 'rough diamond'. They loved each greatly and Helen's genteel manner was a perfect foil for Dick's more robust approach to life! He died many years ago and we have visited her regularly since then.

On an even sadder note, the following Friday after Helen died, one of BM's brothers died really suddenly. He had had Muscular Distrophy but although in a wheelchair, was relatively well until an operation went tragically wrong. BM dropped LS off on his way up to Scotland to be with his family. He is in a state of shock, as is all the family, esp his mother, who is frail and in her 80s. K was only 45yrs old and leaves a wife and two teenage sons.

To end a very traumatic week, on the same day K died, Uncle J heard that his 83yr old Mum was taken ill on holiday in Spain, and he has flown out to be with her.

So, a very difficult time for everyone and we are all supporting each other in our own ways. My brother G returns to Spain on Wednesday, having been invaluable in many ways, both practically and emotionally. LS (who has said he doesn't want to be know as LS, but A, which is the initial of his first name, rather than the initials of a nick name!) goes back to school tomorrow. And I am working on a redundancy project, helping people get jobs during the closure of a local factory.

Life goes on... but we miss those who touched our lives in so many different ways whilst they were here.

Sunderland Point

2006-08-17T06:13:00.000+01:00

Do you ever have days when things just flow seamlessly? Yesterday was one of those lovely days. It started early... My son had two friends on a sleep over - they scared themselves silly watching The Mummy Returns and one was still awake at 3am, then they all woke up at 5am!

Once I had dragged myself out of slumber we set off for a day out. We visited Sunderland Point, a little peninsular near Lancaster, which used to be a port where ships unloaded cargo and got repaired, when Lancaster was a busy trading port in the 1700s. You can only get to it when the tide is out as the road is at sea level and floods at high tide. This added a slight frisson of danger for the boys!

We had a lovely time just wandering about, having a picnic listening to the seabirds and watching a heron imitating still life. The boys collected stones and scratched their names on them to place at the poignant little 'grave' of Sambo, a young black boy, who was supposed to have died there after leaving a slave ship in the 1790s.

We then went on to the River Lune where the boys splashed around like young puppies and ignored the soft summer rain as they skimmed stones and laughed. By the end of the afternoon we were all quite tired and lemon drizzle cake was a great way to complete the experience.

These times are what I find the most important and memorable - sharing enjoyable fun with those we care about. I hope you have a day like this soon!

Wheel of Fortune

2006-08-16T23:28:00.000+01:00

What an amazing couple of days... my question was about the purpose and focus of life just now and this card has come up twice. The Wheel of Fortune is central to our lives and is one of the few that does not have a person centred. It represents Fate, destiny, sudden happenings outside of our control and expectations..amongst other things.

I have had so many good connections with people in the past 24hrs, including someone I needed to forgive and lots of interesting work opportunities. Having decided to try the web site dating once more I have had messages galore and am determined to explore the opportunities that fate is placing in front of me.

If you need to get a focus in your life, you must believe that things will improve and get back in touch with your inner voice. You truly do have the answers to your own dilemmas and all you need to do is be WHOLEHEARTED about moving forward. Then life will start to change for the better.

Timing

2006-08-15T09:51:00.000+01:00

Temperance. Well, this card came up for me again and it is the 3rd time in a week so I am going to look once more for deeper significcance. Key words include Forgiveness, artistic creation, balance, intermingling and moderation. At present the route I am taking is rather vague and not clrealy defined. I get frustrated when things are not clear and I don't have a definite goal to work towards, but there is something here about being open to others, forgiving past hurts and being true to creativity.

I have been pondering on my meeting with the author of 'Living Magically' last week and re-reading it. The message that 'Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy' struck me really loudly today. I wonder where we unconsciously live out our fears and negativity? If we believe we can make a difference to our own lives as well as others, then surely we must develop a deep belief that we can affect our own lives for the better.

Today, how about believing that only positive things will happen and see what does materialise......

Heartbreak & Fulfillment

2006-08-14T10:48:00.000+01:00

My request to the cards today was 'How can I use my skills to help others?' and I drew the 3 of Swords. As you can see, it is a powerful image and the meaning can seem very clear. Heartbreak, betrayal, loneliness, mourning and other such strong emotions are some of the indicators here. It may imply a necessary cutting off or illness. And how is this relevant to my question? Well, it could mean that past experiences can be used to help others deal with these issues. Certainly in the area of Change and Transition, in which I work, these are some of the major life feelings that my clients all experience at some time. Or it could be a warning of iminent bad news.

I remember doing readings for a close friend and myself last year and we both had this card in the position of forthcoming events... and a short while later she wrote to say that she was going through some intense personal issues and felt our friendship should be put on hold for some time. That bolt from the blue hurt a lot and yet I had to respect her decision and live with it. I only recollected the card position some time later and realised we had both been forwarned.

The next step in getting this card was to consider if this was just a warning, rather than related to work, so I drew another card to see if the message was reinforced. I then drew The Sun, a Major Arcana card which usually indicates success, fulfillment, enlightenment and the time to let your light shine. Well, that seemed very positive so I will sit with the messages and see what thoughts and actions come about soon.

Today my son is bored and I am in a rather distracted frame of mind so am finding it difficult to settle to anyone things. Do you ever get days like that? There are 101 things to do but I can't begin to focus on any one things. The summer holidays mean juggling a number of demands but I think I will just to do what is absolutley necessary and then enjoy time with LS!

Self Reliance - 9 of Pentacles

2006-08-12T21:43:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I had a lovely time with a lady who writes books on metaphysics and magical living. She lives in the Lake District and has created her own concept of how we can appreciate our time here to the full. Her books are full of fascinating insights to another way of being. She was really welcoming and interesting to talk with. Our sons are the same age and our lives have some parallels. It was fascinating to hear how she came to her beliefs and has inspired me to keep on looking for a way to harmonise my searching with a congruent life.

This morning I drew the 9 of Pentacles. This can signify Self-reliance, attainment, refinement and prosperity as a result of past effort. The reliance on self is something that has come to me more so since my Mum died after the break up of my relationship with BM. We often struggle to accept this in our life, but it can make us stronger if we go with it.

However, I have drawn this before, and what always strikes me is that this elegant lady (not at all how I am!) is on her own, with only a hooded bird of prey for company. (The bird is said by some to represent our 'shadow self' or the side which we prefer not to look at. Well, I have done some looking at this side recently and maybe I have faced some painful home truths and got it a little more under control.) It is the 'alone' bit that I would like to change. But for now, I will enjoy what we have and be open to the good things that may be on their way... Now won't that be fine!

Four of Cups - self absorption

2006-08-11T05:09:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a difficult day. I had to face some realities about finance and also talk with my ex about them. I have been struggling for a long time to manage on my income, balancing work with being a Mum, and also the fact that the work that I do is still relatively new in this area and the take up of the offering is limited at present..

In October my mortgage will almost double and I have lost a fair bit of regular income. This means I have to find more income from somewhere or we will have to move. I only moved here 2yrs ago and really don't want to HAVE to move. The idea of moving TOWARDS sthg is what appeals, rather than away from.

The talk with BM went well and he was really understanding and supportive. We have had so many issues to deal with over the past few years; it is great to be able to share some emotions and problems and feel heard. He has promised to help a bit but his situation is such that he can't change it, just alleviate it.

So I was feeling sorry for myself (spent far too much time doing that in the past couple of years!) and wishing things were different. But things are as they are, and the only thing I can change is my reaction to them....... as the card I drew today reminded me! The Four of Cups warns us of becoming introverted, self-absorbed, ignoring the good things in front of us. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we have many blessings. By focusing on one negative thing, we can easily miss the other great things right in from of us.

And so today, I am going to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive things in life, starting with my lovely son and working out from there! LS, my boy, is delight and he gives so much, and we will manage, just as we have always done. AND, with so many dreadful things going on in the world and all the suffering, my focus will be on continuing to help others as much as possible and trust that our minor issues will sort themselves out in their own good time.

Potential - 3 of swords

2006-08-09T22:34:00.000+01:00

Such a good day; my first reading for someone who wants to use the cards to help them get an answer to a really key issue. I did the full Celtic Cross spread and hopefully it gave significant insghts to their issues.

And now I asked the cards for help with my own stuff and, yet again, the 3 of Wands came up. This card is recurring so often just now that I have to take note. The key words are Exploration, Foresight and Leadership. It is a key theme in everything I do just now and yet I am wary of it. I see someone looking to new horizons, supported by strength, insight and experience... knowing that the new horizons are full of potential and yet - I am scared. What of?

Hmmm... scared of power, moving away from the known and treading water in a new life. We all fear the unknown and yet the mantra is 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. Well I have felt the fear, done it anyway and mostly been OK. But I want and need stability. So, does it give that? Well, I have 3 staffs of strength by me, my feet are on solid ground and I love sailing. So, I must venture forth and trust that it will be Ok.

Tonight I called an old friend who I have not spoken to for a long time and she told me of her life and what she faces and it brings home to me how we all journeyers along this path and face struggles that only we can face. Others may be there as support but sometimes we need to go it alone to get to our journey's end... so that we can start once more.

And so - no more for now!

Temperance and procrastination!

2006-08-09T09:30:00.000+01:00

I have just lost a whole screed of writing about yesterday - was checking why a photo didn't load and didn't save the draft, in spite of being asked if I wanted to by the kindly pc!.

Brief summary - had a good meeting yesterday about a project I am managing (or not, actually) with some useful feedback. Feedback is such a great tool - I work with a guy who has taught me a lot about its value. We learnt some valuable techniques on the coaching course I did in Ireland and it is so helpful in development and improving performance. Also met with a lovely lady who has a shop in town with premises to let out. She is setting up a centre for well-being and feels that Life Coaching would be a good support to this.

Quite often I pick a tarot card at the start of the day. Sometimes I ask a specific question, others just for guidance. Today I asked what mesage the cards and for my work and relationships. I drew the 7 of Swords which can signify avoiding responsibility, deception, being on yr own, running away and procrastination. I was not sure if this referred to me or to s/one doing this to me so I drew another. This time it was a Major Arcana card, Temperance which I saw it on the bottom of the pack before I shuffled and then drew it after the shuffle. It is tradionally aligned to Sagittarius, my sign, so has more relevance. It can mean moderation, compromise, harmony, balance, health and well being(!), working with others and consolidation.

So the message for me seems to be to beware of self-deception and procrastination and enjoy working with other people. I am certainly tired of tryng to go it alone and would love to work with other, like-minded people more often.

Well, off to see the lady in town and do some coaching with her so she can see how it works.

2nd post - aaargh!

2006-08-08T16:36:00.000+01:00

Well, this is just a quick one to say that I am trying to get to grips with the technology and the links, but it will take time. Any help most appreciated. The main thing seems to be the link which I use for others to see.

First Time! Ace of Cups

2006-08-08T09:13:00.000+01:00

Well, that was incredibly easy - when I woke up this morning I never thought I would be writing my own blog this morning...but here I am. So what do I want to say...?

The sun is shining (good English start to a conversation - talk about the weather) and I have a meeting with someone from a local cinema, to put an advert in their monthly mag. Do I go for the traditional business ad or do I take a risk and put in one for Tarot Coach?

You see, this is where my dilemma is. I have been working as a coach for about 4 years now and I love what I do, but it has never really taken off successfully. My clients seem very happy with our work together do and I really love helping others to achieve their goals and realise their potential, but I am not getting enough work and therefore not fulfilled myself.

... Having read this I think I must take the risk, with maybe some margin for security (not sthg I would have considered a few years ago!) You see, over the past couple of years I have used the Tarot cards a lot to help in my own journeyof development. I was v wary of them for some time, but a friend read them in Ireland and I was fascinated. I use the cardswith others to help them find answers to problems that are concerning them. I am NOT PSYCHIC, but have some well developed intuitive abilities linked to my coaching and people skills. So it seems to help others and is a fun way to do what I love. Especially working in the area of Change and Transition which is full of uncertainty and challenge.

The card above is the one that I feel represents my beliefs - it is LOVE overflowing, happiness, meaningful realtionships, creativity and spirituality .. the things which are at the heart of life. It shows abundance and giving. As I post these musings I think I'll tell you about some of the cards, their significance and how they play a part in this journey.

So now I must get ready to face the day and see what it brings!